Learning Cambodia & (Re)Learning the United States

Belle

2011-05-01T19:15:00.004-04:00

She's my new favorite toy - a 250 with much more power than the 110s we ran in Cambodia. But then people here go a lot faster than most Cambodians can imagine. It does still scare me a bit, driving down the highway at 45mph with nothing between me and road except the clothes covering me. And yet, each nice day, I can't wait to bring Belle out of her spot and go touring together. I'm not usually one of these people who talks incessantly about motorized vehicles, but I had to introduce you to Belle and let you know that, even in odd ways, Cambodia is still impacting me.

Just in case you are wondering, here's some of the differences between driving a motorcycle in Cambodia and the US:
1. It gets cold riding in the US so the right clothing is a must. I was cold once, no, maybe twice, in Phnom Penh.
2. Wearing skirts to drive does not work too well in the USA.
3. Driving in flip-flops is frowned upon.
4. Dragging your flip-flops on the ground to stop is a definite no-no.
5. In PA, you must wear eye protection. And, you should be able to see through your eye protection. Scratched up or tinted shields just will not cut it.
6. Riding side-saddle or 5 to a motorcycle would be considered illegal - and the police will chase you down if you try to escape their outstreched hand.
7. Cars by far outnumber motorcyles in the US, even though most cars are occupied by only one person.
8. The US DOT has strict standards for helmets.
I'm sure there's many more differences, but this is a start.

Stages

2011-03-06T18:15:00.002-05:00

Life moves in stages. Some phases are faster than others. The tulips opened in 5 days. Unfortunately (or fortunately), God has not revealed anything about the next stage of my life in this amount of time time so my tulip analogy ends here. But I still really like my tulips.

Sixty-one

2011-03-06T17:59:00.002-05:00

The one evening, I decided I would braid my hair. It took me that evening and the next (during our hymn sing) to put all 61 braids in my hair. And a friend did a few to save me several minutes. After a week, I took it out to reveal a head full of krimpy hair. But it was so easy so I'm sure I'll do it again.

25 Things to do before 25

2011-03-05T19:51:00.003-05:00

This is a post I've been intending to make for a long time now - a year to be exact. It is inspired by a friend of mine who posted a list of 25 things she wanted to do before she turned 25. As I approached my 24th birthday (last year), I decided that was a good idea. Dreams and goals are always good for a person's life. So, here is my list. Some items are already completed. Some have been added along the way as the year progressed (like #20) and some have been deleted and replaced - that's the beauty of creating your own goals! With 5 months to go, I should have enough to keep me busy.

1. Visit all covered bridges in Lancaster County
2. Buy a car
3. Edit Simon Magus for publication
4. Learn the Khmer Alphabet and 100 new words (This may be replaced by learning new French words)
5. Acquire over 50% of the M*A*S*H TV series collection
6. Pass a motorcycle safety course and get license
7. Go waterskiing
8. Visit Virginia battlefields
9. Tour the Hans Herr House
10. Make "perfect" num ban chao
11. Finish and paint my bedroom
12. Sand and finish steps to my room (May be replaced by finishing the wooden floor in my grandparent's house)
13. Make a comforter of family (May be replaced by making a wedding present for my uncle)
14. Go to a show at the Fulton Theatre
15. Visit the Liberty Bell and one other museum in Philadelphia
16. Enroll in a college course
17. Learn how to clean, card, and spin wool
18. Share Jesus with someone
19. Plan a retreat
20. Visit Africa :-)
21. Learn basic phrases in Mandinka and Creole
22. Make a snow angel
23. Expand the herb garden
24. Finish a 1000 piece puzzle
25. Visit Boehm's chapel
Extra: Take more random photographs

I Owe the Lord

2011-03-03T19:51:00.003-05:00

I Owe the Lord a morning song
of gratitude and praise
for the kind mercies He has shown
in lengthening out my days

He kept me safe another night
I see another day
And may His Spirit as the light
Direct me in His way

I'm a bit homesick. And I'm home. As much as I'd like to be in Africa, I know that God has called me to be here for right now. My mission is still in Salunga, PA for the time being. And when God lets me go, I'll be ready. But one thing I have learned on this trip is to praise God. The Lord owes us nothing, but we owe so much more than a song in the morning. This song is one we say nearly every day our second week in Guinea-Bissau. It's a good reminder of the simple ways God is faithful. So I will be faithful in the simple ways as well. And praise continually through songs, thoughts, and actions all day long. Thanks, God, for the opportunites you give me daily. You're pretty awesome.

Planting

2011-03-02T19:30:00.004-05:00

The imagery of planting and harvesting has become very real to me recently, especially in light of the situation in West Africa. The day before I left, I planted some tomato and lettuce seeds. And then I left and forgot to tell someone to water the new seeds. Under normal circumstances, they would not have survived and grown. However, I have a wonderful mother who recognized what happened and faithfully watered the piles of dirt. And seeds began to grow! It brought to life the picture in Paul's letter to the Corinthians. That's a lot of what missions involves. One plants according to their gifts. Others water and disciple according to their gifts. But only God makes it grow. We are not responsible for the results, but we are responsible to be faithful. Not all of my seeds sprouted like the one above. Some will come up later and some will never come up, but I still plant in hopes that I will have tomatoes this summer.

1 Corinthians 3:6-8, "I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor."

The garden imagery continued when I returned to work. A small but wonderful group of co-workers got the above tulip for me. I think it perfectly represents how I feel right now. The flowers have not yet opened, and it's not clear what they will look like, but if cared for properly, I'll soon have beautiful tulips. I'm not sure exactly what God is preparing for me. I know God has planted a lot of desires within me, and they've been watered by experiences like the trip to West Africa. But the final result is not yet visible. God's flowers have not been revealed, and I'm just waiting to see what will open up before me. And I think I'm okay with that right now. Thank you, God, for the reminder that healthy plants take time to grow and there are many elements involved in the growth process.

Dear Africa

2011-02-11T20:10:00.003-05:00

For a long time, I have wanted to visit you. It has not always been a dream of mine, and I have never had any particulars, but the region has fascinated me for a long time. And now, I will finally get to visit you. You are a large and varied continent, and one or two countries will only be a taste of all you have to offer. But a taste, full of spices, will be a blessing for my bored taste buds. I'm ready to learn what you have to offer, to experience the wonders that you hold, and to meet the people who call you home. In 4 days, I'll have two weeks to live within you. I'm looking forward to it!

Winter 2011

2011-01-09T14:32:00.004-05:00

There's nothing profound or unusual about the following pictures. They just represent minor details of life this winter, but I've been thinking a lot lately about the present - not the past or the future - but the present and enjoying it as it is. Some of these thoughts have resulted from difficulties at work, and my gut reaction is often to escape (see Dec. 16 post) or just hope and pray that the future will be better. But God is in the present just as much as God is in the future. And there is no promise of a better future, but there is always the promise of God's presence. And God is teaching me to live fully in the present - whatever it brings - and trust in the God of the present instead of always trying to escape. So I am content to be here and I am grateful that God looks after even the small details of life as well as the large ones.

"To be grateful for an unanswered prayer, to give thanks in a state of interior desolation, to trust in the love of God in the face of marvels, cruel circumstances, obscenities, and commonplaces of life is to whisper a doxology in darkness." -Brennan Manning

The first lambs of the year.

We've always had trouble with sheep mixing up which bucket holds grain and which bucket holds water, but since we've labled the buckets and taught the sheep to read, there's been much less confusion.

These are quail. They don't really do anything except provide entertainment for the dogs and tease the hawk that cannot get into their cage. They do make noises occassionally.

It snowed a few days ago. It was just a few inches, but it was enough for everyone in my family to have a delay, except for me. I didn't really mind, though. I've been enjoying the snow this year more than usual. There's something fun about the changing seasons. Summer is still my favorite, though, when I can sit outside on the picnic table without having a wet butt. But that's part of learning to enjoy every season of life.

Welcome to 2011

2011-01-09T14:18:00.003-05:00

Now that the first week of 2011 is officially over, I have some time to reflect on the year so far...well, not really reflect, but catch up on some blogging.

This year, I welcome in the new year in Lancaster, PA. Sometime around 6pm on New Year's Eve, I did remember to wish Cambodia a happy new year since it was about the time my family would be waking up into 2011. Karla and I joined Kira and Lamar on a journey into Lancaster city to watch the rose drop - yes, drop, not rise like it had done in other years. Karla and I had a good walk around town, enjoyed some minty hot chocolate inside and had a delightful chat before wandering back to the festivities, listening to the band and counting down with the small crowd present. All in all, I wouldn't say it was anything overly impressive, but the best community activities are never the most extravagant events, but rather the ones the simply bring people together. Happy New Year, Lancaster!

Kira and Lamar with the rose in the background

Sisters! (with no rose)

A Break

2010-12-15T21:06:00.002-05:00

We all need a change of routine once in while. Well, I do at least. I won't profess to speak on others' behalf. I got that today. I think this is the first day at least this month if not in the past few months combined that I actually have time to sit. Time to think. Time to laugh. How long has it been? How did I get going at such breakneck speed that I am at home only to sleep - literally? It feels good to be able to breathe for a day. Tomorrow I have to go back to work, but today was a wonderful break. I spent the time helping my grandma and aunt and new friends sort Christmas items for a Re-Uzit shop (wonderful places by the way!). Yes, it was me and a bunch of older people. Unlike them, I am "young and have a life" as the one lady said. If having a life means running from 7 to 11, then, yes, I have a life. But that's not the kind of life I want. I want to be able to breathe. I need more of these days. The times when I can serve just for the sake of serving and don't have to worry about "serving" just to get a paycheck each month. Times where I can talk and laugh and shop around and play with ribbon - and not feel guilty about it. Yes, I needed this break,, and I'm grateful for it. But, I think I need another one already...

End of the Watching

2010-12-13T21:26:00.003-05:00

Two weeks ago it was only the beginning. Now it has come to an end. The season of watching and waiting is over for me and I have no dead carcass to show for it. I do, however, have two spent shells which is more than I can say from other years. As I watched, a beautiful doe stepped into the stream just below me, taking her time to place her feet carefully into the water as she lowered herself over the bank. One shot. And then she turned and looked straight at me, now fully aware of my presence. Her eyes looked directly into mine as I fumbled around, trying to find a second bullet because the gun can only handle one at a time and I was obviously going to need more than a single shot. Wary of me now, she began to retreat through the woods the way she had come. Another shot. And she was gone, leaping behind as many trees as she could find, safe from me (although, with that record, apparently she was never in any real danger!) But those eyes, those dark eyes just staring at mine will probably define this season for me.

I laughed so hard when I retold this story that I could barely get the words out. That doe just turned and looked at me after I had tried to kill her! And it took two shots before she finally decided she should get away fast. I was reassured by my cousin who also missed a doe at close range the first week - twice. And by others who had explanations for the bad angle (shooting down instead of straight ahead) and the inaccuracy of the scope at such a close range or other such reasons. I didn't hear any shots from the direction she ran, but, much to my chagrin, she didn't return that day. And that was the end of my watching season for this year. But I did get to see a lot. That's a lot better than watching woodpeckers and squirrels for several hours.

Watching Season

2010-11-29T20:43:00.003-05:00

On Sunday, the preacher spoke about "watching season" since many people do not go around "hunting" for deer, they simply sit and wait and watch. This was all tied in wonderfully with Advent, but that is beside the point of this post. The advent of my 2010 hunting season was more aptly a watching. Watching the pileated woodpecker dance around the tree top, watching the chickadees hop around the ground. Later in the morning, as I watched the sun rise, the birds disappeared into the background and the squirrels come out. I watched them chase each other and run up and down trees. I watched the shadows of the trees move as the earth turned 'round the sun. I watched my toes move up and down as I exercised my feet to stave off boredom. I watched the last few leaves rustle precariously on the near bare trees. Oh yeah, and I also watched a few deer pace up and down near the woods, too far away to be of determined legality. So they paced while I squinted through my scope before disappearing into the brush. Yup, for all of us today, it's just watching season. But it's only the beginning.

Autumn, the season

2010-11-20T21:44:00.002-05:00

The leaves on trees have begun to change color and many of them have already fallen to the ground. Mums of various shades decorate porches, gardens and brown flower beds. Pumpkins etched with the marks of carving knives greet visitors to many houses. It must be autumn...or fall...whichever term you prefer. Since this season does not exist in tropical environments, I decided to record some of the images here.

These leaves were from around my house. And, without leaves in some locations, no one has to rake them. However, this yearly ritual occurs here multiple times this season.

These images are from houses I noticed while walking near work.

Say how?

2010-11-20T20:51:00.002-05:00

I had a rather unusual experience the other day. It was a collision of multiple worlds. I was sitting at my desk at work when the phone rang. Expecting another routine phone call such as where to donate a piano or how to get books from Kenya to a Minneapolis office building, I was not expecting the familiar voice of a friend from church asking if I could help explain a few details in Khmer. Before I could think too much, I was saying "joom reap soor" and was listening to the voice on the other end prattling away in Khmer. I forgot how fast Khmer speakers can talk when the actually know the language! The conversations I have in my head are much slower and are much more grammatically simple. I dumbly repeated the information I was to give over and over again, and, after a few more back and forths to clarify some information, we hung up. That's not what I was expecting in the middle of the day, but no matter. It made me realize how weak my language abilities are and how often I have to ask, "say what?" or it's Khmer equivalent, "say how?" But I could picture the woman on the other end, desperately trying to fit into the United States after a lifetime in another country. And if I could help a little bit by speaking a few words, then so be it.

Φιλαδέλφεια

2010-11-05T21:42:00.013-04:00

Back in September (I'm behind in blogging), I visited Carol in Philadelphia, the city where she is now living. From Prey Veng to Philly and from Phnom Penh to Lancaster County, our settings have reversed. Here are some images I don't see every day in the corn fields or barns around my house.

Benjamin Franklin and some old and new friends at the Constitution Center.

I can finally say I've seen the Liberty Bell.
The church looks like it was transplanted directly from England; the baptismal font actually was. It is on loan and was used to baptize young William Penn.

At this point, I felt like I was back in Cambodia, but with a bunch of Indians. This parade was going along the street to the Krishna Festival up the road.

My reason for visiting Carol was because it was College Day - a chance for college students to get into several city museums free of charge so Carol and I put our student IDs to use. We were transported around the city on yellow school buses and got to see Eastern State Penitentary.

I also took random shots of the city buildings, street vendors, and the sign at Jim's Steaks where we got our tasty 3pm lunch. I've finally experienced some of the sights and touristy venues of Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love - φίλος + ἀδελφός.

Puppies!

2010-11-05T21:25:00.003-04:00

As happens with all babies, they eventually grow up and (most) leave home. These are images of Macy's litter of 5 before they left for their new homes. Lexi, Hank, Happy, Bashful and Panda were a bundle of fun and puppy energy and these pictures can't capture all of their puppy engergy.

UN Tribunal Decision

2010-07-28T10:30:00.000-04:00

35 years for the lives of 15,000 inmates.

Life is beautiful

2010-07-22T21:57:00.007-04:00

Here are some random images from around our farm. It just struck me recently how much beauty there is around here. The creativity of God is boundless.

The cat of the famed June 4, 2009 post - still alive and well ... for now

Fish in the pond

My tomatoes are still green but alive

My peppers are small but sturdy

Tiny cucumbers are coming

The best way to view a rooster - from behind a fence

Two of the five puppies that were born just a few hours ago

Another part of the cycle of life
Weeping willows are my favorite tree. I'm not sure why, but I've always liked them. This one started as a stick in the ground when my parents first moved onto this land.

"I'm Flying Through the Air..."

2009-12-10T20:35:00.002-05:00

When I was young, my dad had a ram that was feared by me and all my siblings. We all thought that at some point it would come charging at us, hurtling us to outer space with unbelievable force. My brother and I even created a short diddy about this ram and our fears of what would happen:
I'm flying through the air
my butt hurts everywhere
and I'm landing...in a pile...of poop!
I know, very creative, isn't it, for a couple of kids who hadn't even reached double digits yet!

Obviously, we all survived our childhood without having flying lessons with a ram. However, that tune popped into my head this week as I stood in our meadow. I was gathering cement blocks (yeah, this is what I do for fun). And as I walked back and forth carry blocks from the stack and throwing them over the fence, I was closely monitered by our current ram. Just as I was preparing to hurtle another block over our 5' fence, I felt a firm bump on the small of my back. Turning around I was face to face with the ram, head bent, daring me to make a move. I just looked at him thinking, "You've got to be kidding." Luckily, the first charge was just a warning bump or I may've been thrown into the fence myself. But I could see the ram backing up again, ready to charge. Backing up would've indicated my willingness to fight, so, with cement block still in hand, I walked toward my competitor. He backed up. I moved forward. He backed up, and I moved closer. I figured this could go on for a long time; the meadow is fairly spacious. So eventually I just stopped. As I expected, the ram prepared to come at me again. Knowing that my own head would be no match for his, I decided to have a back up plan. Head bowed, beady eyes trying to focus on me, nose puffing, he came running. Standing calmly, I carefully positioned myself. As he got close, I lined everything up. And then he was there, his head connecting solidly with the cement block in my hands. After a pause, he gave me a confused look, looked down, back up again and then slowly turned and walked away. I collected the rest of the cement blocks in peace. Take that, sheep!

Flux

2009-12-06T20:40:00.002-05:00

I decided that flux was a fun word and probably a good way to describe how I feel now so that's the title of this post. I'm home, but not really home. Things have changed. (Did I already blog about this. I think so. It's an ongoing theme). I have this still unsettled feeling. Maybe it's due to the fact that I'm pretty sure I'll not be leaving the United States for another two years. That seems like an eternity. Or maybe it's the fact that the familiar is no longer familiar. Time changes things. Or maybe it's because I just haven't found the niche I know I'm supposed to be in. Any work can be meaningful if I decide that it is going to be, but I still feel like there should be something more. Or maybe it's the lack of a church family.

I miss people my age. I didn't realize how much until I revisited the ol' stomping grounds near my alma mater. Seeing young adults, talking, singing and eating cookies together reminded me of much more stressful, but yet happier times. Times when life seemed simpler and I was full of grandiose ideas on ways to change the world. And I didn't have a church home for long then either, but I always felt like I was surrounded by a very large spiritual family. Now, that seems to be lacking. I miss being challenged. I feel like I've settled for something less than ideal. It seems as if I've suffocated my old dreams, but I don't want to let them die. There's a part of me that knows I will not survive fully if I allow myself to be lulled into complacency by my current lifestyle. I just really want to be home. But I don't know where home is anymore.

Remember the Good Times

2009-11-13T19:24:00.004-05:00

Every one has up and down days. Some just fluctuate more than others. Usually, for the past few weeks, I could count on the fact that every good day would be followed by a bad day or every bad day would be followed by a good day. But this week was different. In fact, it was something I would've thought was impossible. There were three good days in a row, three!

The third day was probably a breakthrough. Sometimes, it can be hard to tell an 11-year-old control freak what to do and when. (She's not even a teenager yet and already thinks she knows everything). But the one morning she suggested a science experiment using foods. By smell and taste, I was to figure out whatever she concocted. The rules: (1) It had to be food and (2) it had to be given in small amounts.

So I sat at the kitchen table with a blindfold while she went around the house, opening drawers, slamming cupboard doors, twisting caps and mixing things in bowls. We started out simple with mashed bananas and paprika, but then she got the idea to combine things. I learned that mashed bananas with strawberry sauce and cocoa powder are pretty amazing. Unfortunately, I'm not a picky eater so I liked pretty much everything she put together. Paprika, cocoa powder and uncooked stuffing pieces are not as bad as they sound.

Then, things got serious. Chili powder was added to the mix. A little at first, but, as Cambodia had increased my tolerance, I wasn't really bothered by that. So then I think most of the can was dumped in on top of the bananas and stuffing and cocoa and nearly a tablespoonful was shoved in my mouth (a direct violation of rule 2). By that point, I really couldn't taste anything anymore and had to put an end to the experiment. Then she had to clean up since the entire mess was hers. I sat by and watched as she willingly and without complaint put away all the dishes and ingredients she had pulled out. She even said, "I can't believe I'm letting you do this to me!" I couldn't believe it either, a true miracle for her to clean up after herself.

Then the experiment switched and I blindfolded her, but kept to simple, unmixed ingredients and was much nicer to her than she was to me. The worst thing I made her try was grapefruit juice. After that simple experiment, I sent her upstairs to shower, and, as she was leaving the kitchen, she yelled behind her, "Thanks, Christa, for doing that with me." I almost fell over at that point. It was the third good day in a row and she had willingly cleaned up her own dishes. But, on top of all that, she actually thanked me for doing something with her. And she had remembered my name! I wasn't "Hey, um...." or "Keersta," I was myself, a person worthy of being thanked.

The next day was difficult again, but it was certainly worth it to have this one good day. It is the times that stick in my head and keep me going in the hope that it will happen again.

I learned it in Cambodia

2009-11-13T19:14:00.004-05:00

My current job involves babysitting and homeschooling a 5th grader with chronic fatigue syndrome. Here are some useful things that I learned in Cambodia but can't really put on a resume.

1. Patience

Learned by sitting on the floor of my house with nothing to do and no one around, I had to be patient.
Applied if my charge doesn't want to do schoolwork, we can sit and stare at each other until she breaks. The longest so far has been 28 minutes.

2. Flexible Planning

Learned when the vacation ended a week ago and students still haven't shown up and lesson plans get moved back yet another day.
Applied if it's a bad day and the fatigue part really kicks in and she's too tired to work. Lesson plans get moved back to another day.

3. Flexible Eating

Learned almost every mealtime. If I'm hungry, I'll eat it. My tolerance for hot, spicy food also increased.
For the application, see the above post on the science experiment.

I Can't Get Away From It!

2009-11-13T19:00:00.002-05:00

A few days ago, I received an email from a former student. It made me realize that some things never change. Each class has one of those students. You know, the kind that is a teacher's pet but also really gets on the teacher's nerves too. The "begging the question" type. Or the one who wants some totally unrelated information immediately or who thinks that class should be a private tutoring session. Unfortunately, those students never die either. They pop up in your email inbox and ask for recommendations so they can do a study abroad program in the state adjoining yours. I should've know this would happen. After briefly asking how I was, the student launched into a desperate plea for a recommendation. I forgot how oddly worded some of their sentences could be, including this one: "actually, i know that it may trouble you, but i sharply believe that you will always assist us whenever we confront any trouble, and need your help."

And of course, there's always the concern for one's welfare, just in a different way than in the USofA. The fourth line (I kid you not) was asking whether or not I was fatter than before.

Keys Are Important, Really

2009-10-30T20:33:00.003-04:00

Long, long ago (okay, only a few months ago), I wrote a post about how I got locked out of my host family's house. Only I wasn't really locked out, I just thought I was. Well, this time it happened again. I got locked out of the house I should've been able to get in. Only this time, it was under different circumstances.

I arrived at the house for my routine babysitting job. Everyone one else left the house and all was quiet for a few minutes until the daughter came back inside and asked me to move my vehicle so she could leave. I grabbed my key and quickly ran out of the warm house into the cold air and promptly and kindly moved my vehicle. Like a well-trained daughter, she backed out, closed the garage door and waved as she drove away. I

pulled back in the driveway and then ran around the back of the house to enter the door I usually go in. Except it was locked and I had run out so quickly I didn't remember the house key I had been given (or my cell phone which sat on the table). I tried again. Yup, the door was still locked. So was the side door. And the front door. And the garage door which had a code. I remembered all the numbers for the code, but not the order they went in. So I tried a combination. And another. And another. And another. And so on until my fingers were cold. In between these attempts, I tried to pick the lock (I don't know why I even tried. I always fail at that), pry open a window, tell the dog to get the key, search for a hidden key, read the newspaper, and huddle in the truck to stay warm. Periodically I peered expectantly into the house, hoping my small charge would wake up and let me in so I could warm up was I hugged my shirt closer to me. The dog and I had staring contests as she wondered why she couldn't come out and I wondered why she hadn't been taught to open a locked door. Finally, I decided to clean the windows of my truck (yeah, I was desperate). Just as I started, I heard a door creak and the dog run out of the house. I ran around to the back and jumped into the door almost before it closed. Instead of a "Good morning!" I was greeted with a puzzled and careless "What were you doing?!"

This morning, she had finally slept in. A whole hour. A long, cold hour. Now, my cell phone stays in my pocket and the door code is emblazoned upon my mind. I certainly won't get locked out of the house again! (At least not this house. There's always bound to be a next time...)

Kidding Around

2009-10-27T18:47:00.006-04:00

I never did much babysitting - except for my siblings. I did way too much babysitting of them, and they would agree. Kira was always much better with that. However, I have recently found myself titled "babysitter" once again. A strange title to use with an 11-year-old. After several months of tobacco tending, cutting and hanging and house painting, I am now safely inside in time for the cold weather. After acting like an adult with enough muscles to load tobacco lath and enough skill to do an excellent paint job, I've forgotten what it's like to be a kid.

Tired of TV watching, I naively suggested that we use sofa cushions to build forts. This is a great activity for anyone. The forts are fun for people who are under 5 feet and weigh less than 100 pounds. Unfortunately, I don't fit in that category. So I packed my large body into a tiny, narrow space. I would've tried for a fetal position except that an actual fetus has more room than I did in my "fort." And just when I thought I could finally breathe between the cushions (did I mention we had blankets over the top to black-out the fort), the household dog decided that I was the better lap to nap on. But I didn't really have a lap so the dog just snuggled with my face. How sweet! Moist doggie breath in a stuffy compartment! I was thrilled that the next step was getting out of our forts to play World War II. Wait?! Moral dilemma here. Freedom from the fort. But shooting the enemies. Huh, what's a pacifist to do? Quick, change the game! Let's play doctor. (You need lots of those for a war, right? But if both sides stopped shooting each other, the doctors wouldn't be needed to patch them up so they could go out and get killed for real the next time).

Apparently tumors are very common during war so that was the malady that afflicted my small charge. Dozens of head tumors, nearly 100 foot tumors and miniscule finger tumors that I, the trusty doctor, had to remove with my pencil. And then we switched. I was the patient and I had to be cut open, operated on, and stitched up again. Apparently I was a more difficult patient and required a pen for the operation, not a pencil. Of course, the cap had to be off too. Laying on my back, totally out from the "anesthesia," I wondered why my face felt wet..and my neck...and my hands...and my arms. When I had been healed and was "awake" again I race to a mirror only to discover that I resembled Frankenstein's monster more than myself. A bit perturbed I scrubbed my face and arms and was relieved to see the marks come off. And hearing small giggles which I had not heard all week, I decided that no harm was done but that was enough doctor for the day. Now I had an idea of how the dog feels when she gets forced into old baby clothes. How brave of me to save the dog from torture for that day!

Oh, I So Miss You

2009-07-23T10:09:00.004-04:00

My goodbyes to people I spent my time with began at the university - RUA. During weeks of review and giving exams, my students repeatedly asked if I would teach next year or when I was leaving or if I would ever return. Many of them repeatedly implored me to visit them when I was in Cambodia again though the idea that I wouldn't be able to find them after graduation didn't seem to be much of an issue for them. I have one group of 4 very adorable girls in my first year class. When I finished their small group speaking exam, they all began to tear up and one cried out, "Teacher, I just want to hug you." Another agreed, "I do want to hold you." Therefore I found myself surrounded by hands from all sides as they all sniffled and wiped tears away before embracing me. Butt hugs, though slightly awkward in the USA, seem to be quite approriate in Cambodia. "Oh, I so miss you," my one student responded when I told them my leaving date. That seems to sum up my feelings as well. It is as if I am drawn in two directions and miss the US when I am in Cambodia but miss Cambodia when I am in the US.

Other, more formal rituals at RUA included a farewell ceremony for Karin and I. The vice rector gave an encouraging speech to the students attending before handing certificates and flowers to each of us. Then our language center director had some presents to give us - more scarves to add to the collection my students already began for me. There was also time for students to speak and afterward I talked for awhile with students, gave out my email address and really enjoyed relating to and appreciating them outside of the classroom. There are things about the university that I will not miss, but my students made it all worthwhile.
Dear students, I so miss you.

The Last Wedding

2009-07-22T21:38:00.005-04:00

The Friday before I left included a team meeting and a surprise baby shower so was a very full and busy day. That Saturday we had scheduled a farewell party for those of us leaving in July. Also, on that Saturday, I was suddenly informed that I was expected to attend a wedding with my family. I'm still not sure whose wedding it was - a cousin perhaps, but I went along with my family as expected - another event suddenly included in my busy weekend. It was as fairly simple wedding and there is really nothing to note expect one ceremony that intrigued me.

It was a Christian wedding and the bride and groom did footwashing. This was something I had never seen done at a Cambodian wedding. They washed each other's feet. I asked my sister-in-law (my wonderful cultural interpreter) about the custom. She told me it is a traditional Cambodian custom - with a twist. Traditionally, only the woman will bend down the wash the man's feet as a symbol that she is the weaker partner and the servant of her husband. This is a symbol that re-emphasizes traditional gender roles and social structure. However, this wedding had the Christian twist in that the man and woman washed each other's feet. They showed their service to one another. Husband to wife; wife to husband. It was a powerful reversal of traditional roles. I'm certain that's what it must've been like for Jesus to wash his disciples feet on that night of the Last Supper. The one who was - by all cultural norms - the leader, the master, the one to be respected, he was the one to bend down and wash the persistant dust off the feet of others. Cambodian dust is no less persistant and the symbolism no less powerful. If, as Americans, the powerful ones, we would all be a bit more willing to stoop down and serve, how different this world would be. And not even as Americans. As sisters, brothers, friends, cousins, mothers, fathers, educated, uneducated, young, old - all of us in our current positions in life are called to be servants of others - to love for the glory of God. That's something I need to work on, but the image I saw at that wedding was just such a wonderful reminder of how much Jesus challenges me.

John 13: 13-17
"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."

Domino Effect

2009-07-22T21:25:00.002-04:00

I've always thought Dominoes are really fun - not because you can match up the dots but because you can make fun patterns with upright tiles and then knock them down. Unfortunately, this is a game that should only be played with domino tiles.

My family's moto is "interesting". It is much sleeker and faster than the MCC motos I'm used to driving. It also has some issues starting. One must squeeze the hand brake, turn on the turn signal and keep ahold of the brake while starting the engine so that it doesn't cut it out. (How my family came up with this "password", I'll never know, but I learned to do it too). I did all that without a problem, but had a difficult time driving to church. The ride was a bit jerky because the moto accelerates and brakes much faster and harder than the motos I was accustomed to driving. But I arrived without hitting anyone or being hit by anyone.

I pulled into the parking lot and got my ticket before the attendant motioned me to an open spot. To maximize space, motos in Cambodia are parked parallel to one another in long, straight lines.I twisted my wrist ever so slightly but the touchy moto suddenly flew forward without my permission. Before I could jerk it to a stop with the brake, my front tire nipped the moto in front of me. You can only imagine what began to happen. My arms could not reach to the motos in front and I could not suddenly drop my still-running moto on the ground to grab the others. No, they just all started slowly falling away from me, one moto hitting the next and the next and the next. Fortunately, the attendant had amazing reflexes and was able to quickly stop the tumbling effect before it got very far down the line. Needless to say, I was thoroughly embarrassed and mumbled many "I'm sorry" "Excuse me" phrases as I parked my moto (walking it this time, not trusting the accelerator), and sheepishly left the parking lot and walked into the church. Crazy foreigners. I left without any problems and purposely avoided the one attendant and handed my ticket to the other one who had not seen my parking failure. I arrived home without incident and with a much smoother ride on the moto but with a much redder face.

Back in the US of A

2009-07-22T21:18:00.003-04:00

To those who are wondering and waiting, here is the brief update. Yes, I am now in the United States again - even in Pennsylvania. However, I will not be back with my parents until Friday of this week.

I am currently in Akron for an MCC time of re-entry. We have had a chance to (re) connect with other SALTers, see MCC staff face to face again and simply marvel at and try to adjust to the differences of life in the USA compared to the countries we just came from.

I thank all of you for supporting me and caring enough to read about my life (however infrequently). I look forward to sharing many parts of my life with you and I hope that you will also share your stories with me since I missed a year of your life. As I have changed much in a year, I know that you have also undergone many transitions and changes so I hope that we can share those together. I am looking forward to seeing family and friends again after so long and I pray that you are well until we meet face to face.

PS. However, there are still some snippets of Cambodia that I have not yet had time to share so look for a few more posts about Cambodia before I turn my thoughts to life in these United States.

Huh?

2009-07-04T03:01:00.001-04:00

My year one students were given this question and told to write a 4-paragraph essay, “Education is important for men and women. Do you agree?”
Here are some funny and insightful responses:

“Other thought, they don't want women go to study, because can write love letter to men....”
“They think that women and men should get knowlegde, it is 21st century. Everybody should learn anything around us.... It's very important, everyone should be learn alittle knowledge if they have no ability to get high education. Don't keep it away from your brain.”
“niterland” = Netherlands (It took me a good 5 minutes to figure out this word)
“...use the global resources for the shake of people in the right way.”
“Educations are for improve people. Women and men are people.”
“For example, the women in my class they are all cleverer than men and they are the hard students and they take notice in their study so much but some school boys always evade school and they don't pay attention on their study on this point it shows that the women think the Education is important for themself.”
“...So the women themself should try to study and show the real ability to all the parents and men know and join with the men to do work and stop laying on the men it's not good thinking.” (I still have no idea what figure of speech he is referring to by saying the women should stop laying on the men.)
“Since the past until the present, no only develop country but indevelop country always seek and amand their resorts in order to attack tourists to visit them.”

Family Dynamics

2009-07-03T05:45:00.000-04:00

I'm the oldest of just about everything in my family. Siblings, cousins, grandchildren, great-grandchildren - on both sides of the family there's just lonely ole me. Usually that means that I get to be the one who watches out for everyone else. It also means I get to be the one who picks on everyone else. Living in Cambodia has demoted me to "low woman on the totem pole" status.

I am not the care giver, I am cared for (sometimes to annoying extremes).

When I go anywhere, I am drilled on where I am going, who I am going with, when I will be home, what I am riding to the place, where I will eat, what did I eat.
When the family sits down to eat, I am immediately called over and ordered to sit as if I will die in two seconds if I don't get food.
When I eat only half or a quarter as much rice as my family (my 8-year-old cousin can eat about the equivalent of two soup bowls), I am instructed to eat more or quizzed on if I am sick or think the food is not delicious. (Here my stubbornness takes over and I just don't eat which I think my body is grateful for).
When I am sick, the family is alerted and the aunt runs to get medicine for me and Ma wants to make rice porridge (I refuse) and watches what I eat and when I eat.
When I return from a trip, everyone is happy to see me and asks if it was happy.
When Zechary is around, Ma or my sister-in-law make sure he gets time with Ming Christa.
Ma asks me what food I want to eat. (I usually have no idea, but appreciate the thought in the asking)
Or Ma makes food just because she knows I like it.
I am repeatedly warned not to stay out too late for fear of the people who roam the streets after 8:00.
I am allowed to do tasks around the house as part of the family.
We are taking a family trip just for me.

I am also not the "picker," I am the "pickee" (also sometimes to annoying extremes).

The other night a rich cousin visited us and I was sickened by all the sucking up that was done so I sat with the cousins. They thought it was great and as we were both really bored, they decided to entertain themselves.
My one cousin began stealing my phone and blaming another cousin, softly crying out "Thief, thief" so as not to disturb the adults.
Then the other cousin joined in, leaning her head on my shoulder just so she could slip her hand over my phone (like I didn't know what was going on!)
Then the first cousin was offering me fruit. Except the problem is that the only fruit we had at the time was the plastic stuff that decorated the house. So he kept asking, "Will you eat this? Will you eat that? Will you eat this one?"
He grew tired of that and handed me a lime telling me it was a longan fruit (a small brown fruit). I told him it was very different to have a green longan. And asked if it was sour. He told me it was sweet. Oddly enough, I didn't believe him and later offered him the unique gift of "green longan."
One Sunday, one of the older female cousins was washing dishes and I wandered outside to her. Usually I help her but didn't that day so she looked at me and said, "Bong Christa is lazy. She doesn't wash dishes. Lazy." - Actually, this was a really cool exchange because we had never really talked before and the fact that she was comfortable talking to me, even joking with me, was a pretty cool step in our relationship. Too bad it happened 3 weeks before I leave.
Also, my small eyes are continual topic of conversation. One night it was really late and I was tired but intently listening to a Khmer conversation because I need to know some information. I guess I was so focused my eyes were closed and the same female cousin interrupted my concentration by telling me to open my eyes. I said they were opened all the way (and tried to look very forlorn about my small eyes) and another cousin burst into giggles.

Sometimes my family annoys me. Once I got really mad.

When they talk about food, I sometimes get annoyed. Not eating something one night doesn't make me a bad person. Especially if I've eaten it multiple times before.
Showing me off just because I'm white really, really gets to me.
Trying to get me to speak Khmer just to show of my "cleverness" also frustrates me.
Once, I had food I was preparing literally taken out from under me and told to go rest out of the kitchen. Then I got mad. After talking with my wonderful cultural interpreter, I realized I think it was just a bad day for the family and not directed at me personally. Things were fine the next day so I'll be Cambodian and just not bring it up again.

Most of the time I really love my family and will miss them.

I will miss being called "Bong Kee-sta" by my cousins (especially the fun, annoying one).
I like being a family member, not a guest.
I like the random things my cousins do just to make each other laugh.
I love the talks about life. Mainly, if it's in Khmer, I listen and they talk and I understand most of it.
I enjoy sharing recipes and cooking together.
I like late night talks with Ata; both of us sprawled out on the tiled floor.
Random hugs from cousins can sometimes be startling but make me feel loved.
Playing with a baby is fun.
I will miss dragging the three-year old cousin into my lap and then checking to see if she's wearing panties (usually not).
I will miss jokes about how much I love prohok (dried fermented fish) and how I have to have a plate only for myself. (This is one thing I don't eat, in case you were concerned).
Going to church 3 on a moto or 10 in a tuk-tuk is fun and will never happen in the USA.
I will miss all the people who have become a part of my life and who will not be physically close to me again. They truly are my family (even if I still don't know all their names!)

I'm Still My Father's Daughter

2009-07-03T05:07:00.003-04:00

Today, I painted. Yes, I was very, very excited about the painting. It was a house. An actual house. Going to work this morning in painting clothes reminded me of those dozens of times I woke up and got ready to paint all day. I was thrilled to finally be able to do something physical again. (I'm terrified that when I go back I will not be able to lift 50 lb haybales or a full 5 gallon bucket. And there's really nothing I can do here to prepare me for that. Bench pressing motos just seems like a bad idea).

Yet painting in Cambodia is much, much different from painting in the United States. The colors are different and the houses are different. Most houses here are wood and are not painted or are concrete with large tiles on the bottom half of the wall. So the 3-bedroom house was done quickly since we only had half the wall the paint (excluding a 6-inch strip at the top that I still don't understand why we didn't paint it).

I thank my dad for teaching me how to paint. Since we freehanded everything (no tape), it was important to know how to make a straight line. Well, for me at least. No one else really seemed to care. Cambodian standards for a good paint job are vastly different from mine. I noticed that the moment I arrived here and spots of blue or yellow paint trailed into the white areas. However, I'm not bothered by it if it's done already. But, today, when I had control over the quality of the paint job, I was very careful. I even took a scrub brush and started wiping away paint drips on the tiles. When we finished, I think it looked better than it could've looked, but I'm still a bit ashamed to say I help paint the house. I would have loved to take some plaster and fill in the cracks along the walls and pull out nails and patch the holes. I have the ability to do that, but not the resources so I just had to make due with my small brush along the edges.

And, Tawny, you will be so proud of me. I painted without getting paint in my hair. Maybe that's a sign, though, that it's not a good quality job if I don't have paint in my hair. Needless to say, I really enjoyed taking the time to drive across town and slop some paint on walls. I wish I could do more, but that might be out of my power. I'll just content myself with scraping paint off my fingernails for now.

Two Weeks

2009-07-02T05:51:00.000-04:00

Just in case you were wondering when I return, I have two weeks - exactly. It's an odd thought. When I got home, my aunt told me that I had "dop buon t'ngai tiet" - 14 more days. I told her, "I know, Ming. Don't tell me that. I don't want to go."

It doesn't seem real. I still have final exams to administer, tests to grade, research papers to collect and final grades to figure out. Not to mention last stops at the tailor's, souvenir shopping that I've been avoiding, picture taking to do and much more. So, am I ready to go? No and yes.

No, I really want to be here longer. I want to see my family change over the years. I want to welcome the new people coming this fall. I want to get more involved in changing Cambodia.

But I want to be home. I want to see people I haven't seen for almost a year. I want to be active again. I want to have some of the freedoms that are lacking here. I want to be able to wear pants regularly. I want to be surrounded by cows and cornfields, not cement and smoke.

So, two weeks, then I fly out. Three weeks until I am back in my parents house. Where did the time go?

We're Not in Kansas Anymore, Toto

2009-06-17T07:37:00.003-04:00

Ah, students. What would I do without you to keep my life interesting and provide me with funny stories. If I wasn't already culture shocked early in my term, I would have been in a bad situation because I encountered cultural differences head-on in my class on Tuesday.

While trying to explain how to write a thesis statement, I was eliciting examples on the differences between fact and opinion. I asked for examples of facts:
Student: The sun rises in the east and sets in the west.
Me: Good.
Student: Summer is very hot (in Cambodia).
Me: That's true.
Student: The teacher is fat.
Me: [stunned silence]
Internal thought process: Did he just say that? Yes, he did. Okay, well that's true so, yup, it's a fact. Wow, I'm really in Cambodia. Huh, Cambodia. Whew, things are different here. Hey, I kinda like this. Openness. Did he really just say that. Yeah. Ok.
Me [verbally again after 2 second pause]: Yes; any other examples?

Then we moved on to opinions. One of my characters quickly jumped in.
Student: The teacher is beautiful.
Other student: No! That's not an opinion! That's a fact!
Me: This class is crazy! And that's a fact, not an opinion!
Class: [Long laughter]

Yes, it was a very strange cultural exchange. (On a side note, just in case you weren't aware: In the United States, skinny and tan is beautiful. In Cambodia, fat and white is beautiful, just in case you were confused) It's something I'm still getting used to - these differences in topics that can or cannot be appropriately discussed in any culture. For now, I'm in their culture and I'll try to play by the rules (private comments about the government don't count).

What I have learned so far is that I've become much more aware of myself. I've always loved myself, but giving verbal reasons is difficult. This year, I've become at lot more at peace with many things in my life (for example, not worrying what I will do in 2 months or how I will pay all the loans I have to pay with the limit on available jobs). I hope that you can all come to that place. If you get nothing else out of life, I hope you love yourself. Love yourself because God loves you. Embrace that love for yourself. Allow that love to flow out of you. Use the love to love others. That's the great thing about love - it's easily multiplied. Love God. Love others. Those are easily said and sometimes easily done. But love yourself also - that may be the hardest thing you have to do.

Check It Out!

2009-06-15T07:30:00.007-04:00

A few months ago (I think), MCC Cambodia was visited by "Storytellers" - basically people who work for MCC and share stories with the larger community. Since many of you will never get to Cambodia, you will not be able to see or hear about it first-hand. However, this video, one of the stories can give you an idea of what it is like. The Angkearhdei School in is Prey Veng Province. I visited there during the rainy season when it was only accessible by boat (and we got soaked!) The building is typical of many schools in Cambodia. Borbor, the rice porridge, is a common food and is given to people when they are sick or is eaten during funerals because it is a cheap way to feed many people. Also, the song they kids sing at the end is a very common tune - I don't know the words, but I do know the tune. And, just as an point of interest, it is narrated by Nicole Groff who left Cambodia with her parents just before I arrived so she is well aware of Cambodia and MCCs programs here. If you want to check it out, follow the link below the the MCC website!

http://mcc.org/globalfamily/projects/asia/cambodia/video.html

As the year continues...

2009-06-10T20:34:00.008-04:00

...and comes to an end, I find myself thinking more about what I will miss about Cambodia. There is nothing profound in these thoughts, but simple, daily things now capture my attention more. That is how most of life is lived - taking in daily life through the senses. And here the senses are awakened and reborn everyday. They are assaulted by loud noises and pungent smells and soothed by gentle touches and sweet smiles.

Sights
- the rainbow of trash; plastic bags in the mixture add hues of pink, yellow, green, blue, orange, white, back, purple, gold, red
- masses of traffic jams as 4 lanes of traffic meet in the middle of an intersection
- school children in their fresh white shirts heading to or from school everyday in packs of friends
- gangs of moto drivers draped on moto seats, waiting to jump up when you walk near
- the colorful umbrellas and billboards and rusted metal pieces used to build the market
- flowered pajama suits worn as everyday outfits (yellow flower tops match wonderfully with purple flowered bottoms)
- mad mud rivers or filled craters in the road after a rain

Smells
- fragrant garlic wafting up the stairs or left on fingers after chopping
- the salty, fishy, sweet smell of fish sauce mingling with garlic and frying meat
- the not-so-fragrant smells of fermented fish or sour bamboo
- rotting garbage: sweet, sour, and indescribable
- waves of jasmine filling the nose with it's light scent
- the new, soft smell of a young baby

Tastes
- the soft yet firm taste of rice cooked just right
- the suck-all-the-moisture-out-of-your-mouth taste of bittermelon (yup, just like it sounds)
- the tasteless lump of tough, fatty meat that you can find in almost any meal
- the crunch of bones and the joy as you finally get a piece of chewy, stretchy meat off

Feels
- the gentle touch of toothless old women as they stroke your white arm
- the not so gentle continued squeeze of your white arm
- the unexpected playful slap of a friend during a conversation
- the ease with which others lean back on your leg or shoulder as a cushion
- the magic back-scratching circles that break up the work day
- the jostling of bodies in the market as everyone tries to move at once
- the imprint of the moto handle on your hand as you hang on furiously and weave in and out of traffic
- the jump of your heart as you grab onto any part of the moto you can find and will all your muscles to either not body slam the driver or go flying off the back

Sounds
- the music of the ice cream cart as it is pushed past
- the recording of the bread sellers crying out their daily delicacies
- the wail of street sellers as they attract attention to their goods
- the squeak of the noise maker as the recycle carts amble along
- the scream of saws in the house next to you at 7am (or earlier)
- the mixture of bird songs, opening shops, street conversations and rattling cans and bottles at 5:30am
- the heart-stopping blast of a truck horn as it pulls up beside you
- the varied music of horns, bells, and shouts on the street (if it sounds big, get out of the way)
- the sizzle of garlic in hot oil and the loud splash of fish sauce thrown into the pan

The Cat

2009-06-03T20:23:00.002-04:00

This week I had my students practice the present perfect simple. The what? Yeah, I ask myself that question every time I teach. The verb tense with "have/has + past participle". We did some practice exercises where I gave them some verbs, nouns and time phrases that were true about my life and they had to connect them into sentences. For example: live + Cambodia + 10 months = The teacher has lived in Cambodia for 10 months. I also gave them the verbs: like and had. One of the nouns was the same cat. And the time phrase was 5 years. My strange students created this sentence. The teacher has liked the same cat for 5 years. I told them the grammar was good, but the sentence was not true. So they rearranged it more correctly to be: The teacher has had the same cat for 5 years. That was the correct sentence because I let them know I really did not like the cat who I think has actually been around for more than 5 years. I tried to imitate Little Helen's annoying wail for my class, but I simply cannot reach the pitch that the cat can. Then, my ever-practical, ever-humorous students asked, "Teacher, why don't you just kill the cat?" I said because it's my sister's cat. "But, Teacher, you could kill it secretly." I just laughed. Maybe I should hire them to do the job for me. Kira, luckily I am not as cruel as my students because I have let that cat live thus far and I guess it's safe for a little while longer. But when you leave home, well...

Dolphins and Elephants

2009-05-29T04:30:00.014-04:00

I know it's been a really long time since my last blog post, but when my sister called me a slacker, I knew that I needed to remedy things.

So, this post is about the most interesting thing that happened to me in the past few weeks. Prepare yourself, it's ... another vacation. Yes, another major holiday has come and gone. This time it was the king's birthday and Royal Plowing Day (don't ask me what that means, I have no idea). Four days of holiday actually meant 7 days of no classes, long bus rides, and high personal expense. It started out low-key. I joined Carol and Charles in Kratie. This meant that I had to ride the bus alone which was fine with me - once I got on the bus! I arrived 30 minutes early, had ticket confusion, bus left, jumped a moto to fly through the city looking for the bus, found the bus, got on, discovered the 50 passenger bus only had 11 people including driver and company personnel but had no other problems.

In Kratie, we met up with our admin assistant who took us to see the river dolphins. Remember Flipper? Well, these guys are nothing like Flipper. More like shy beluga whales. It's not even worth posting a picture because it would look like just a bump in the water. But, a near-extinct species is cool to see anytime. Also went to Amara's home and met her family, dogs, chickens, cat named Snow, cows, fish, and pig with its 11 piglets. Seeing grass and friendly dogs was amazing - rare things here - and her farm reminded me of home. She was a wonderful hostess who also gave us time to wander the city on our own.

From there, I got on a bus with Carol (Charles opted out of this next phase with 11 girls). With Carol, I had no problems getting on the bus. We headed for Mondulkiri, the "Wild East" of Cambodia. We saw mountains, trees (so many trees), grass (so much grass), red dirt, muddy roads, steep cliffs, and much more. Our lodging was actually a nature place with their own hydroelectric plant, outdoor toilet (see pictures below and imagine going to the bathroom in that thing or showering in the rain. You get very wet). We saw more termites and large black spiders than I care to see again. But the food was amazing and they had a horse that like to wander into the "restaurant" which was basically like a tree with a few boards as a roof and back wall.

The highlight was riding elephants. Up close, they are not so intriguing. Large, wrinkly and hairy, I was not impressed. Actually, I think our seat was unbalanced so most of the time I was afraid of falling off. But, I never realized elephants made so many noises. The growl and grunt and trumpet. And, oddly, they vibrate. Yes, our elephant vibrated. That would've given us a wonderful back massage if it wasn't for the sticks poking out of the seats we sat in. We rode through a "jungle" to a waterfall, ate lunch and saw the elephants being washed and then rode back (the seat was adjusted so I was no longer falling off). I'm pretty sure this counts as a once-in-a-lifetime experience so it was worth it!

The squatty potty

Shower

Taking a shower outside was very cold.

Riding an elephant

Holiday Family Time

2009-04-22T07:10:00.004-04:00

Another journal expert. Thursday, 16 April 2009. Khmer New Year, Day 3.

It rained today. It has been doing that occasionally now, usually during the night. It's the rainy season teaser. The bit of wind that breaks the humidity. But today it rained in the early afternoon. Puddles started forming on the road - lovely now that it is paved. The delighted screams of naked children echoed up and down the street. My little cousin could be seen enjoying the rain with the others.... Her dark skin took in all the coolness of the rain drops while her tongue ran sweetly over her lips that had pulled into a toothy grin. She splashed and danced in place in pure ecstasy until an unusually loud clap of thunder caused her whole body to freeze and visibly shiver. She immediately turned and had disappeared into her house in the blink of an eye. I tried not to laugh too hard.
...
We made num ban chio today (Cambodian Pancake as Ma calls them). This is certainly one of my favorite dishes and only the second time we've made it since I arrived. I remember being so confused the first time. The Cambodian way of preparing and cutting food was still foreign to me, and we were cooking over the charcoal outside, something I was not used to doing. Plus, they had me try to make some and they didn't look so pretty. Other MCCers had been invited and I think Karin, Amy, and Carol came. I was glad they were there because I was a bit overwhelmed by all the strange people who were eating with us.
...
Today was different. I now know how to prepare food - Cambodian style. Although I'm still really bad at cutting onions any style.... This time I could understand most of the instructions I was given instead of just staring in confusion. I kind of wrote down the recipe though things aren't exactly precise here and there are still some unidentified, but very yummy, "green leafy things" on the ingredients list. While we were eating, I recognized everyone.... There were no other foreigners and no one was foreign, just me and my family and some friends. I'm glad I can notice changes in myself since I first arrived. And this is definitely something I'll be making in the States!

Theology

2009-04-22T06:52:00.002-04:00

An excerpt from my journal. Sunday 19 April 2009.

I miss theology. The lack of solid teaching in church has left me empty, often upset. My brain cries out in apathy, hungering for a good debate or friendly discussion. It often drives me crazy - people arguing over moot points. Who cares about the details when the world needs so much help? But I also like trying to figure things out - to eliminate some answers even if I'm left with so many more questions. That's why my undergrad is in Religion/Bible. Because I enjoyed it. But I miss it. So that's why I'm sitting with a copy of St. Athanasius' On the Incarnation. I haven't even gotten through the intro by C.S. Lewis, but I'm already drawn in. Here, I have found an echo of my own voice. The reason I appreciate - and miss - theology.

"For my own part I tend to find the doctrinal books often more helpful in devotion than the devotional books, and I rather suspect that the same experience may await many others. I believe that many who find that 'nothing happens' when they sit down, or kneel down, to a book of devotion, would find that the heart sings unbidden while they are working their way through a tough bit of theology with a pipe in their teeth and a pencil in their hand." - C.S. Lewis, introduction, p.8

So the pipe part doesn't apply to me, but I understand the 'nothing happens' feeling. I sit in church and daydream about the Greek words that I've forgotten. I stare at a computer screen and my hands wish they were holding my thick volume of theologians. I can say that I have never had any such desire to hold a devotional book near me. Such an item does not rouse my spirit or challenge me enough to make a difference in my life. I'm hungry. I can taste the saliva building in my mouth, ready to drool over the volume I have in my hand. My theological soul is about to be fed.

Say What?

2009-04-18T06:23:00.003-04:00

Thursday was spent at home with my host family as the last official day of the Khmer New Year holiday. It was a lucky choice because my family made one of my favorite foods as well as a tasty dessert. I was writing down the instructions for the food when my aunt told me that she usually puts another ingredient into the dessert but did not have it. She showed my a capsule of crystals and said she used that instead (the package was in Thai). She told me that she usually puts in waneela. I didn't understand and looked at her in confusion. She told me it's a liquid used in cakes. I looked at my host sister for English help but all she told me is that it's called waneela. My aunt left with my face still contorted in concentrated thought. Finally, it occurred to me to translate in my mind the Khmer accent. Make the w a v. Ok. vaneela. Make the e sound a short i. Oh! Vanilla! When my aunt returned with a cookbook, she confirmed my deduction. Needless to say, I am proud of myself. I have been here long enough that I can figure out the accent... eventually!

Yesterday, the same aunt asked if I had flour. I told her I did not. Then I asked what she was making. She told me pee. Okay, humility check. This time, there's not much to translate into American English. I'm just as confused as you are. I'm pretty sure she's not making pee. Maybe she means pie. I can only hope so. The conversation was in Khmer and I still haven't figured out if pee is supposed to be a Khmer or English word, but as Cambodians don't use flour to cook things, I can only guess that it is English or supposed to be English.

Update
I got home late the day Ming made pee. In our toaster oven (which, just to note, people here call a microwave), I saw things that looked like quesedillas with tomato sauce. I had one for breakfast the next day and they tasted like bland enchiladas, but they were good. Later Ata asked me if I liked the noom - the dessert. I was so confused until I realized she meant the enchiladas. So maybe Ming was told it was a Mexican pie and she translated that as a dessert. I still really don't know. I think some things here will always remain a mystery.

HEAT

2009-04-17T04:44:00.002-04:00

3:46. The time now. 3. The number of showers I have taken today. 3. The number of times I sweated immediately after finishing my shower. 0. The number of windows in my room. 2. The highest I have ever turned my fan. I'm afraid to go to 3 because I keep telling myself it could get hotter and I just might need to switch the fan up another notch. Amazingly I haven't gotten heat rash or anything yet, but it's amazing how hot it can get. And how humid. There is a noticeable difference between sun and shade. Just stepping out of my bedroom into the ventilated hallway reveals a noticeable temperature drop. We have been cooking outside a lot more - saving the house from the heat of the kitchen. It's April. This is supposed to be the worst month. It is hot. Very, very hot, but it's still manageable. I think I can stand this for a few more weeks.

Changing Seasons

2009-04-15T05:04:00.002-04:00

Cambodia does have seasons. The weather shifts every so often from rainy to dry to a few sprinkles. The temperature moves from hot to hot and humid to very hot and humid. I didn’t think there was much of a difference until I went out to Prey Veng this week for a few days of holiday. The bottom picture was taken in September shortly after I arrived. That time was during the rainy season. The top picture was taken on Tuesday which is now the end of the dry season. It is amazing to me how much the water has receded, allowing people to cover the place with rice fields. They even moved their homes down onto the fields and will move up again once the rains start.

Even though it is dry here, life is still flourishing. Cambodians are a people who have learned to live with whatever life throws at them. Even when things look bleak, they hold on, living their lives by the rhythm of the seasons. Life is undeniably difficult and death and starvation are real fears, but their appreciation for life is something unmatched in the United States. They are alive and grateful for it. They have family, and they are grateful. They have friends, and they are grateful. There is so much for which we have to thank God – perhaps we would be wise to step back and take a good look at our life and learn to enjoy it just a little bit more. Whether is be pouring rain or blistering heat, each season of life is meant to be cherished and appreciated.

Happy New Year (again)

2009-04-15T04:58:00.001-04:00

Chinese New Year. International New Year. Khmer New Year. This is the third (and final) New Year celebration that I will experience this year in Cambodia. For three days, pretty much everything shuts down. The markets and food stands close up and many people in the city go to their “homeland” to visit their relatives in the countryside. The provinces become places of excitement with colored lights, games, loud music, burning incense and heavily decorated tables covered with fruit and drinks. The tables are for the angels who are believed to come down on the first day of the New Year. The colored lights help guide the angels to the tables. During the New Year, people are often more charitable and the second day is traditionally the time to help the poor – which explains the unusual number of passengers I saw this morning giving money to beggars from the bus. Even though the celebration technically lasts 3 days, it somehow expands into 2 weeks – the week of and the week before. So, for the past week and a half, I have not had classes as many of my students left for the homeland. Even if I did schedule classes, less than half would have showed up. So, from Cambodia, Happy New Year! or Soo S’dai chnum tmai!

Below is the empty parking lot of the Olympic Market. I stared for a while and finally took a picture because I know I will never see this again. Usually this place is PACKED full of cars, motos and pedestrians and the shops around the market spill their wares onto the sidewalks. I could not believe my eyes. The other picture is an ancestor shrine. Many Buddhists have them and they feed the ghosts of their ancestors throughout the year. This one was decorated especially for the New Year with tinsel and a Cambodian flag.

8:00am

2009-04-15T04:57:00.000-04:00

That’s the time of the latest Easter service I’ve ever attended. No sunrise service for Christa in Cambodia. I think I actually even slept in that day – sometime after 6am and before 7am. Usually church begins at 7am but there is a holiday at this time so all 3 of the church’s services were combined into one 8am service. If it hadn’t been for the fact that the pastor greeted us with “Happy Resurrection Day!” I don’t think I would’ve known it was Easter Sunday. There was nothing special about the service. It was fully of joyful music and celebration as always, and I met some new friends who normally go to the other service. Afterward, there was a short time of dancing (traditional style), but beyond the dancing and combined service, nothing was out of the ordinary.

I don’t come from a historically liturgical tradition, but I do really enjoy liturgy during the holidays. Prayers read for generations. Song sung by millions. The simple, profound ritual of sharing in the Lord’s Supper with other believers. I missed it all this Sunday. There is something in the fact that every week is the same at my church – reminding us that every week we should celebrate the birth and resurrection of Christ. But it is also important to add in elements that remind us of the worldwide church – those who have kept the faith through the ages. Simple acts like breaking bread together are reminders to the members of the body that we are all united in Christ. Whether young or old, dead or living, Asian, African, European, Australian, American or whoever we may be, the love of Christ has given us new life.

Footwashing

2009-04-11T07:17:00.003-04:00

It has always been one of my favorite parts of the Easter season. The Maundy Thursday service. Reenacting rituals similar to those of the meal popularly called the Last Supper though it was neither the last nor the first. Breaking the body of Christ. Drinking the blood of the Messiah. No wonder early Christians were thought to be cannibals. It all sounds so ridiculous, but for those who take it to heart, it is so deeply meaningful. It is the broken body which binds us. We all break bread together for we all share in one body. The body of the ultimate servant. The highest power in the universe bending to clean the very feet which the Almighty had created.

I remember growing up and sitting in a room full of women stretched around the room in an oval. The white towels wrapped around waists or waiting patiently nearby to dry cleaned feet. The smiles and hugs. The gentle lap of water. Someone tickling my feet. My hands massaging stockinged feet. Memories shared. And laughter. Voices lifted in songs of praise. I don’t remember who all washed my feet over the years or whose feet I have washed. But I remember seeing women I highly respected – some of them no longer living – bending down to serve a sister.

Living in a country where dirt abounds and covers everything has given me a different perspective. Everyone wears sandals and feet are perpetually covered with an extra layer of dirt. I showered before I went to church on Thursday, but my feet were dirty by the time I arrived. I understand what Jesus meant when he said to Peter that those who have had a bath only need to have their feet washed – the rest is clean. Such insight Jesus had, targeting the area of greatest need. Such a wonderful act of service. It is forgiveness for you cannot hate someone who serves with love. It is humility for to be a servant, you also must be served.

Brother, Sister let me serve you
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I may have the grace to
Let you be my servant too

Philippians 2:5-8
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross

Status

2009-04-06T20:23:00.003-04:00

For the first time in my life, I have a TV in my room. Granted it's smaller than the computer screen I'm staring at and it isn't even plugged in, but it is there for me to use if I wish. Why do I have the honor of this gift? Well, since everyone else already has a TV in their room, this one has squatted in my room. Yes, we have 5 TVs in my house. Five. Again, more than I have ever had in my house in my life. In reality, only 3 belong to my host family, the other 2 are my host brother and sister-in-law's.

I also spent some time just across the street in my aunt's house. You'd think I was in a different world. Instead of white tiled floors - concrete. Instead of hard tiled walls - wood. Instead of doors on rooms - curtains (if anything). It was only one big room. A small gas stove. No toilet. No running water (except the drain pipe when it rains). No shower - just a small room build from wooden planks. No refrigerator. TV? Yes. Of course there is a TV. It is one of the status symbols here. A car is another one.

Status symbol: Something that gives a person more worth if they have it even if they have to go without essentials for life just to have that one thing.

For Americans these symbols also include TVs - but big screens, cars - but really nice ones (not as many black Lexuses as Cambodia but close), a large house, multiple car garage, pool, name brand clothes, etc, etc.

It seems crazy to me that people put so much value in possessions, but I don't have to examine myself for very long to see that I do the same thing. The news is constantly filled with prophets of doom and laments about the financial state of the world. Why? Even the rich are trying to become less conspicuous and are toning down their outward display of wealth. But the money still exists.

I know you struggle to study
Your education hindered by the fact
that you worry about your family
Do they eat?
Or have they given all their money
to pay your room far from home
So that you can get a degree
An education
And hopefully a good job
So your family will never lack food
And your country can learn to
care for itself

You look flippantly at the book
Not caring about school
Skate parks and TV shows and video games await you
Who needs to learn this stuff anyway?
A waste of time
you think
Your parents have money from their jobs
in air-conditioned offices
You don't realize what they do
for your education
History repeats itself, it is said
It is important to learn it
Important to learn for the future

I see how you stare longingly at the food
Each spoonful of rice
that goes into someone else's mouth
When offered, you are polite
"I ate already," you mumble
But when everyone has had their fill
You soundlessly grab your own plate
And fill it with a mountain of rice
Shoveling sustenance to your hungry stomach

You push the plate away from you with a grimace
Filled with good, nutritious food
the plate goes untouched
because you don't like the food
Food comes in packages
From a clean well-lighted store
Maybe the prices are high
but it's always available
You reach for the cookies instead
Not caring that your uneaten food
Will be swept into the trash
to rot

My Nephew

2009-03-30T07:25:00.002-04:00

Yes, he is still very red and a bit wrinkly, but Zechary is finally starting to get cute. The family still jokes about how he has his mother's face, his father's nose or mouth, and Ming Christa's tiny eyes. Yesterday, he was crying and a ming was speaking to him trying to get him to stop crying. She was sitting beside me and finally she turned to me and instructed me to speak English to him. So I cooed to him in English and he just turned his tiny eyes to me and looked at me without crying. Of course the entire family kept laughing a how he understands English better than Khmer and my host sister-in-law instructed me to extend my visa so that I could stay and teach him English. Zechary, you are one spoiled child and this is one ming who is very excited about her first nephew ever. (And as all my siblings are younger, I'm glad that this is my first niece/nephew!)

Change - A Paradox

2009-03-19T00:30:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, watching a house near the office burn made me think about how quickly some things in our lives can disappear. Eventually, the blaze was controlled, but certainly not without substantial loss. I pray that all the people escaped. They will have to go through many changes in their lives now. And then I began thinking about how quickly life changes and how many changes I've undergone recently. I am also starting to get a bit bored of teaching and am wishing for a change. Sometimes you wish for it, sometimes it just comes unexpectedly.

Ashes to Ashes. Dust to dust.
How quickly things can disappear.
Change sneaks up quickly
or crawls slowly but inevitably toward us.
When you start with little,
there is less to lose,
but each item is more precious.
We all have something we take for granted.

I like change –
in most forms
A little variety is essential to life
Food. Activities. Hairstyles. Countries.
I like to mix it up.

Without change we don’t learn;
we don’t grow.
We cannot empathize with others.
We cannot hope to heal
the hurts of the world.
We cannot overcome
the obstacles in our lives.
We cannot enjoy life
because we are afraid and prefer
to remain stuck
in the places we think are safe
not realizing the walls we have built
are actually a prison.

Change is natural.
Infant. Child. Teenager. Adult. Elder.
The phases join us with the rhythm of creation.
Physical. Intellectual. Emotional. Spiritual.

Do not fear the change that is good
that brings new life, healing,
repentance, love, reconciliation, joy.

And yet not all is good.
Destruction. Loss. Scars.
Fire. Death. Abuse.
The sorrow. The anger. The injustice.
Yet only more change can be the balm.

Cling tightly to life. Take it in. Enjoy it.
Fill your nostrils with the breath of diversity.
But hold it loosely
for tomorrow you may find it changed.
Or you may be changed.
This is life.
A paradox of change.
Yet hope remains.

Noted on a T-Shirt:

2009-03-17T20:14:00.004-04:00

Love can transform the world

Picture Update

2009-03-16T20:20:00.003-04:00

The Haircut. And here's to you Aleda. Teal wanted to give this picture to you but she kept forgetting her camera so here you go, Leda!

Kampong Som (Sihanoukville)

2009-03-16T05:29:00.005-04:00

I finally made it to the beach - one of the favorite vacation spots for Cambodians. After asking many Cambodians why they like the beach (since many of them never learned to swim), they say they like to eat seafood and "see the people." Literally translated, they like to eat seafood and stare at all the foreigners - and they really do go to watch the big, white foreigners!

The excuse was an overnight staff retreat in which all expats and Cambodian staff and their families are invited. It is the only retreat that Karin and I get as the result of being service workers because we will miss the other 2 retreats with other people that are scheduled for later in the year.

Despite the fact of a 5-hour bus ride each way with 60 people on a 50-person bus, I really enjoyed my time. It was wonderful to cool down in the water, walk through white sand, and smell the exhaust of jet skis - it reminded me of my own family and the bay! Spending time with the Cambodian staff was a lot of fun.

The highlight was actually spending time with my cousins. We played some beach games together and it was really fun to just walk near the beach and hear, "Bong Christa, Bong Christa!" as my cousins tried to attract my attention and show me their tricks - floating on soccer balls, doing flips, throwing seaweed. Actually, it was strikingly similar to the behavior of my biological cousins! Some things don't change no matter where you are! Then there was some time where I tried to help the one float by holding him up. The best part was that the swimming time ended in chicken fights which must have been hilarious. Imagine a 90 pound boy on my shoulders taking on several hundred pounds of the two 6 foot something men in front of us. I was laughing pretty hard (while trying not to drop my cousin)!

I'm a Host Ming!

2009-03-10T20:14:00.002-04:00

Yes, I am the proud new auntie of a 3.8kg (8.3lbs) baby boy named Zechary! My host sister-in-law (who is barely over 100lbs herself) finally had her baby early Tuesday morning. I was at the hospital with my family until late Monday night, but left before the early morning labor (something I don't mind missing). Then I spent a couple hours there last night with the family (after a nice talk with my other sister-in-law, Seiha, in a coffee shop which included me driving her moto - scary!) The kid is huge for a Khmei baby, and it is strange to think of my sister-in-law as no longer pregnant - she has been thus for the whole time I've known her.

So, baby Zechary, welcome to the world! Congratulations to Pisey and Leak! :)

You Know You're in Cambodia When...

2009-03-10T05:56:00.002-04:00

Yes, I am doing exactly what I tell my students not to do: plagiarizing. But I find Karin's most recent post hilarious and doubt that many of you will take the time to follow the link if I post it. So, I am saving you the time and have copied below what she has cleverly written which makes me laugh almost to the point of peeing my pants. (And, for clarification, Nibbles is the mouse).

"When a large black bug dive bombs your face you don't really duck anymore, you just yell at it.

When a large black bug flies in your breakfast you pick it out and keep eating while it struggles in yogurt on your plate.

When the mouse is running around in the trash can, you scold him disapprovingly using his name.

When the Nibbles boldly returns to said trash can, you scare him off by tossing a banana peel bigger than his whole body on top of him.

You beg your students to call you if they are going to cut class en masse by threatening to cry in the classroom by yourself.

You make lesson plans with no hope of actually accomplishing half of what you plan.

When driving moto the words "close," "almost," and "nearly" are completely irrelevant.

Going from outside to your upstairs bedroom involves a 20 degree temperature rise. [Okay, so my room, unlike Karin's has only a 10 degree difference]

By the time you dry off from your shower you feel like you need another one.

Coming home after 8 at night is just pushing it too far. [Unlike Karin, I can usually get away with coming home late at 8:30. 9:00 definitely gets me dirty looks]"

Spontaneity

2009-03-09T06:32:00.004-04:00

I like spontaneity. I like surprises (As many of my friends and family can attest to. My apologies to surprising those of you who don’t like to be surprised). So, this morning I was talking to Karin during breakfast (the one meal a day where we don’t eat rice), and decided that I might get my hair cut before going home. Then I talked to Carrie (our in-resident design magician) and got some suggestions. She recommended a place to go and I thought, “Hey, why not go now?” Unable to think of a good reason not to go, I went for a haircut. Short and light I think it will be good for the on-coming hot season (yes, it does get hotter than 90 degrees). However, I think it is not a good style for a Khmei hairdo for a wedding so hopefully the wedding I attended on Saturday was my last.

On a not-so-spontaneous note, I have decided to return home in July and not extend my time. Actually, due to budget issues, I was told I could not extend which was crushing at first. I was encouraged by numerous people (co-workers, friends, host family members) who were brainstorming ways to save money so I could stay for another year. I am very grateful to them for their help and am not opposed to coming back to this place. (I tell my host sister that I will return for her wedding as long as she gives me time to save money). However, I think that by the time my term has ended, it will be good for me to be home. Though I really did want to stay longer, I have a sense of peace that I am headed in the right direction. Now, I just have to find something to do when I get home!

Why are the students always gone?

2009-03-04T04:23:00.000-05:00

So the semester started three days ago, but in reality it has not started yet. Why? Well, the start has been delayed on account of a lack of students. And I don’t blame them. I had 2 weeks away from school (not really of rest, but away from school), and my poor students took their last final Monday morning before I called them to class Monday afternoon. A few appeared, but not many. So, perhaps we will begin again after the holiday on Sunday which will stretch to Monday. And, if anyone would like to join in celebrating International Women’s Day on 8 March – I believe it is a day worth celebrating.

And I am excited for the new semester. I have come to the conclusion that teaching, at least teaching English is not something I could do for the rest of my life. I lack the creativity to keep students engaged and find it difficult to teach something that I cannot remember learning and do not understand myself. However, I am grateful for the experience and have learned much since I began (like to expect 0 students the first day and be thrilled about the 8 who show up). This semester, I am looking to have more fun with my students – to be more creative in catering to different learning styles and to mix up lessons so that I don’t have to talk all day every day. Plus, since I have the same students again and am continuing the same books, I feel like I can talk with them more openly and get their own opinions. I am also more skeptical about completing all the required lessons. We won’t start until next week at least and then PM Hun Sen might visit campus so another week or so is gone and then April has the major holiday which takes like 2 weeks and with other holidays we lose more time and then the rainy seasons comes and students don’t want to get wet so all in all, it will be a fast semester!

Two Funerals

2009-03-03T04:18:00.000-05:00

Each new experience changes one’s perspective on life, culture, people and customs. But sometimes there are things you don’t want to experience wherever you are, but the common elements of life bring people closer together. This week I attended my first (and second) Cambodian funeral. For the suddenness and sorrow it brings, I can grieve with the family. For the hope that the Christians in the family have, I can rejoice with them. And for the time spent with family and friends, I can celebrate life. For Cambodians, a death is a celebration (they use the same word for a funeral celebration as they would for a holiday festival). And yet, they still shed tears and long for life again.

After a sudden, but brief coma, my sister-in-law’s father died on Sunday. The funeral has been going on since then when we waited for hours at their house in the evening for them to bring the body home. It will conclude tomorrow with a large procession to the wat to have him cremated. As soon as I got home yesterday, I was whisked away to their house to see the body, the flowers, the doors smeared with white paint (to keep away the ghosts) and everyone dressed in white. Then we left that party just as suddenly as we had arrived to go to a more subdued setting. A darkened wat with rogue dogs and cats running around. Two sisters crying around the body. No flowers or flashing lights or starch white clothing. We waited over an hour for others to arrive. Slowly more people arrived, mainly my own family members that Ma had called who came from the other funeral. There were many tears, and I think words of regret from one of the sisters. Finally some of the pastors arrived and a woman who I think was the boy’s mother. She was obviously ill and after being sick for a while, was laid on a cot and fanned and massaged. We gathered in a small circle around the woman and the children. A short eulogy was given, a prayer, and a song. Then the body was taken up the steps to the crematorium. More pausing while the monk prepared everything. And then the body was put inside, the fires lit and the door closed. All I could see were the feet, but the wailing of the sisters crescendoed throughout the process. And then we all sat and watched as the smoke came out the top before leaving to hurry back to the other funeral to finish off whatever food was left by this time (9:00 or so).

There was such a disparity between the two. Mainly because of money and what the family can afford. But one done mainly in the Buddhist style, the other Christian and yet more eerie. Yet, it is often hard to discern God moving among us. In a small circle of family members praying together inside a dark wat, God is certainly there. In the midst of a well-lighted celebration, God is also present. We just have to look. (I have many more thoughts on this topic – views of the afterlife, a mix of religions, questioning traditions, but I think I will end the post here or it may never end!)

A Difference of Perspective

2009-02-27T05:31:00.003-05:00

It seems like a whole new world (favorite song!) here and it's interesting to learn the differences. The best thing is church, because they act like it's a celebration, which is should be. The weirdest thing for me is the fact that during meals, family and neighbors come in and out of the house and watch us eat or sit along the wall as we eat. My favorite part has been learning about the new culture and realizing that you can't learn about the world unless you experience it, so I'm glad I got this experience. --Kira

Ummm. --Teal
I originally didn't know what to say, but since Christa has decided to be funny and type my stuttering, I'll figure something to say. Well our trip has come and gone more quickly than we expected. I compared my trip here a lot to Nicaragua and many of the things were similar and also different. Like Kira said, I enjoyed church also, but I liked going to different places outside of the city. We visited some places out in the country and other places more in the touristy part of Cambodia. It was interesting to experience a different culture and I am also glad for this experience. (Minus the 24 hours of planes and the lack of sleep!) Kira wanted everyone to take pity on us and told me to mention that we are going to miss TWO nights of sleep while on the plane! Yikes!

It's hot. Ummm. --Ryan (and he feels like a "turst")

My Sister is Driving Me Crazy

2009-02-16T05:13:00.000-05:00

Okay, so not really, but she didn't actually think I would write that. So, after a very long flight, my haggard looking visitors arrived with Amy's parents with Karin's parents trailing not far behind. After a wonderful night of sleep (well, for me anyway, I was really tired; not so wonderful for everyone else), we spent Saturday walking around the riverfront and joined my host family for dinner. Sunday was spent at church and with my host family. And we were able to take some really fun pictures with Ata and her friend Neth before going out for Western food (a yummy treat as long as I don't look at the prices). I think they are all still a bit shocked at some of the differences, many of which I have forgotten after being here for so long. But Kira has a constant barrage of questions so the conversation never lags. It has been funny to hear the reaction of my host family and the other Khmei people I know here - mentioning how much Kira, Teal and I look alike - and noting how white they are. But I'm glad they finally made it. :)

Something Seems Fishy...

2009-02-11T20:22:00.000-05:00

You’d think I’d know by now – the difference between fresh fish and dried not-quite fermented fish. But apparently rushing into the market as it was closing made me forget my reasoning skills (like why the fish already has slits in its sides – fresh fish don’t have slits). And the smell of all the meat sitting in the market all day must have dulled my nose because I did not notice the fermented smell until I had already bought the fish and taken it home. By that time, it was way too late to run back to the market to buy another fish. I was so brave – trying to buy fish when I had never ever before bought a fish. (I don’t think one time buying a small cut of fish at an American meat counter really counts as buying a fish that I then have to take home and clean and prepare.)

Well, by this time I had already cut up the vegetables to put on the fish and Ata would be home any minute. I almost thought about asking her to buy fish but I knew that nothing was open anymore. So I paced the kitchen for a while trying to decide what to do. I almost just fried the vegetables because they are my favorite part anyway. Then I remembered the rice – of course we had leftover rice and instead of eating that with dinner, I decided just to make fried rice. So, my fish idea went spiraling down the drain like a dead goldfish in a toilet but the food was good anyway and Ata and I managed to survive another night without starving while Ma is away. Next time I attempt to buy fish, I will be more observant. And if anyone wants dried fish, I have one for you.

Students Keep It Interesting

2009-02-03T05:21:00.003-05:00

Today, I was teaching verb patterns to my students and I asked them to use the phrase "look forward to" in a sentence. One student said, "Teacher, I'm looking forward to eating your cooking again." (I inwardly groaned remembering that I did promise to make cookies again for my nearly 100 students).

I was also teaching about words with silent letters such as comb, knife, night. Then I had them define the words. "What's a knife?" "What does climb mean?" I totally set myself up by asking, "What's foreign?" Without missing a beat, one kid responded, "You, Teacher!"

Working at an agricultural university also means that we teach some agricultural words. Asking students to write about farm animals, I got some pretty humerous responses.

- "People in Cambodia almost are farmer, so they grow a lot of kind animal on their farm like pig, cow, house, checken, duck, crocodile..."

- "...that have alot of animal such as: pigs, cows, ducks, kichens, fishes..." (I never before realized how similar chicken and kitchen are)

- "In Cambodia there are many shorts of animals were raised by farmer such as: cow, buffalo, ship, dog, duck, pig, chicken..."

Yay Steelers

2009-02-02T05:34:00.006-05:00

First, congratulations to the Steelers on their record setting victory! Although, I did not find this out until noon when (miracle of all miracles) the internet in the RUA office actually worked and I saw the headline! And I did not see any of the commercials (sadly). There's a lot to catch up on.

However, I was still up and ready by 5:45 am and leaving the office with friends and our packages of food. Yes, we were going to have a Superbowl Party. However, the only bowls that were super were the ones that were filled with yummy food. The three of four Cambodian channels that showed the game were not available, thanks to a whim of the cable company. So, we sat around watching odd outrageous sports (and commenting on how dirtbiking is like driving through Mesang in the rainy season) and other random shows. We also listened to a much-interrupted clip of Bruce Springstein as our "half-time show," but the antics of others were much better, I'm sure.

Besides the commercial, getting together with people is the best part of the Superbowl and we were still able to accomplish that. So, our super non-Superbowl party was a success! And then we all went to work. :-(

Lessons Learned in Kep

2009-01-29T05:36:00.003-05:00

Karin and I learned a few things while on holiday. I'll leave it up to your imagination who demonstrated which lesson. :)

If you are sitting on a plastic chair on sandy ground that slopes down backwards, it is wise to move. Or, if you choose to continue sitting in the leany chair and it happens to fall back, be sure to fall silently and roll out of the way. This provides an element of surprise as you are suddenly on the ground and a good laugh for all those around you.

If you are trying to be cool and fling the end of your kroma (Cambodian scarf) over your shoulder, watch out for gusts of wind that will cause the kroma to fly not over your shoulder but into your face. This bit of unintentional slapstick humor provides a good laugh for all those around you.

If you are riding three on a moto going at fairly good speeds down an open road and you are the one on the back, watch out for bumps - you can get pretty good air off of some of them. Who knew that with a moto so weighed down, you could still manage to feel the air between your butt and the seat you should be on.

If you are brushing your teeth and suddenly have a desire to run your fingers through your hair, you should instantly let go of your toothbrush so it begins to fall to the floor. However, as if falls, you should try to catch it. Upon failing that, you should yell, "Maa - k" and then pause in silence while the toothbrush goes flying out of the bathroom and lands on the floor of the guesthouse, leaving a nice white spot.

Being Eighteen

2009-01-28T04:55:00.005-05:00

To my American sister who wants to flee to Cambodia.
And to my Cambodian sister who want to escape to America.

I remember what it was like – vaguely
to be 18.
I was a freshman in college,
(or was I a freshwoman?)
It was a year of decisions.
Choose a college.
Choose a major.
Choose new friends.
Be an adult.
I was scared.
And excited.
And nervous.
So many new choices to make.
I hated it.
And I loved it.

Live life, serve others, love God.
Does it amount to much else?
What are the basics of life?
Where does the foundation lie?

Do I have regrets?
Yes.
What would I change?
Not much.

It’s tough growing up.

I hate the bills that pile up.
There’s always more responsibility.

With knowledge you gain understanding,
a better understanding of the troubles of the world.
How can I complain
when so many others have no words to express their pain

When we talk

Thoughts flow out
incoherently
I’m confused
I’m frustrated
I don’t understand myself

But some things remain
I cannot deny myself
I am loved
I can love
I will love
I do love

You are loved
You can love
You will love
You do love

I know. Life is hard.
Does it get easier?
I don’t know yet, but
I have a sneaking suspicion the answer is “No”
But you have better insight
into the world
into yourself
because of your experiences

You will make mistakes
But you are loved
You will have regrets
But you are loved
You will cry yourself to sleep
and beat the air
and burst out in anger
But you are loved

You will make it to be 19
And you will know
that being 18
is a wonderful age to be
because you are loved

And you are learning

to know your own heart

Terrible Tourists

2009-01-28T04:52:00.002-05:00

No, this is not a story about all the tourists who come to Cambodia and have no understanding of the culture and no willingness to get to know the people – though I have met many people like that. This is about how Karin and I changed our vacation plans and headed for the beach instead of the mountains a few days before we were to leave. My Ma was away for the week before we left, and I had told her we were going east to the mountains so she was a bit confused when I called and told her I went west to the beach.

Nevertheless, we arrived and walked around in circles in the middle of the road before a tuk-tuk driver took a wild guess that we were lost and pointed us up a hill to the guest house, followed by another huge hill. (So, the beach has mountains too). We felt very buff after our hike up the hill with bags and all.

We spent most of the time away in the shade or wearing long sleeves because we forgot sunscreen. But I still got a nice farmer’s tan from a 20-minute walk in the sun. And the only pictures there are of us on the beach are the ones the Khmei people took of the foreigners (us) who forgot their cameras. So when Karin returns to Kep with her family, she will have to take pictures and Photoshop me in later.

We spent a day relaxing on an island, being appalled by all the white skin and scantily clothed foreigners. Now we understand why Khmei people go to the beach not only to swim but also to watch foreigners. We also ate crab with pepper – two things the area is known for.

Another day, we met up with a fellow teacher from RUA who was at his hometown for the Chinese New Year holiday. He took us to Kampot, and, with his sister and “potential future brother-in-law,” we went to visit a “waterfall” which is more like a river with rocks. And, as usual, the Khmei people got in free and the foreigners had to pay. We ate food. And more food. And more food. And then we rode motos to a river and watched boys fish from a bamboo hut next to ours. And we ate more food before he drove us back to Kep. It was a great deal of fun to interact outside the Language Center office and meet some of his family. And, since we were the bad tourists who forgot cameras, he took pictures for us so we’ll see if we remember to get them! So, sorry, I have no pictures of a seaside town with French colonial remains, a bustling crab market, and lots of foreigners.

Changing of the Seasons

2009-01-19T04:06:00.005-05:00

So much for the cold "season;" it is more like a cold "2 weeks" which is apparently better than last year's one week. Cold water felt good this morning and we turned the fans on in the classrooms again and I was sweating again - yup, definitely not the cold season.

But it is the dry season is evidenced by the instant layer of dust on the floor as soon as it is cleaned. My skin feels dry even as I am sweating and I am drinking more water just to wash down the dust that makes my throat scratchy.

Yesterday, I was going through my datebook and marking American holidays or significant days. I wrote down "spring begins!" followed by the exclamation point and then tried to figure out why I was so excited about that. It makes no difference here because it is either hot or hotter. But for those of you in the cold, I will be here celebrating spring with you!

Also, I have learned what it is like to live without daylight savings. It now says light until after 6pm where a month ago it was dark by then. However, at the same time, it does not begin to get light until 6am where previously I could leave home at 5:40am in fairly good light. It is odd and disorienting, but fun to have this experience and see how seasons change unimpeded by the push and pull of humans' clocks.

I Have Goosebumps!

2009-01-11T07:59:00.000-05:00

And I quote Karin, "What's wrong with this country?" It's been so cold the past couple days. Saturday, we spent some time watching a soccer game and shivering in the sun. Yes, the sun was out but it was cold. Long pants and 3/4 length sleeves were not sufficient. I almost needed to pull out some socks and a sweatshirt or something. The temperature gague inside says it is hovering right around 80 degrees. Oh, how will I ever survive upon my return? Woe is me! Actually, Amy and I went to the airport today to see some students off to study in the USA for 2 months. They will be in Missouri. The one girl was in a sweater, scarf, and heavy coat, but it will still be much colder than anything they could have imagined. Poor kids, they just don't know what they are getting themselves into! Oh the upside, at least I have adjusted and will be able to appreciate (just a little bit), the sweltering heat that will begin in a few weeks. Then I can take showers again without dreading the idea of cold water.

My Son, Absalom, My Son

2009-01-10T01:44:00.005-05:00

7 January. The date is as well known here as July 4 is to Americans. The significance is more than just at calendar date. It is the date the Vietnamese liberated the Khmers from Pol Pot's regime. Or, it is that date the invaders drove out the Khmer Rouge. There are mixed feelings about the date, some recognizing it as independence, others as another type of bondage.

What causes hate? Why do we long for power and yet live in fear when others wield power over us? Does power corrupt? Or do we corrupt power? Why is there hunger? Why do we fear death? Why must some fear being tortured by their own countrymen. Why do we fear losing all?

"Cry, the beloved country, for the unborn child that is the inheritor of our fear. Let him not love the earth too deeply. Let him not laugh too gladly when the water runs through his fingers, nor stand too silent when the setting sun makes red the veld with fire. Let him not be too moved when the birds of his land are singing, nor give too much of his heart to a mountain or a valley. For fear will rob him of all if he gives too much." Alan Paton - Cry the Beloved Country

Cambodia, no wonder you long for color.

Too long did the night reign in you.

No wonder you hold your family close.

For there are some faces you will never see again.

No wonder you laugh at all times.

For you know no other way to handle the pain.

I do not understand; I cannot.

While the rest of the world watches, individuals cry themselves to sleep,

alone.

Violence surrounds us. We are not only Cambodia.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

But when?

What will you do?

Wedding Bells are Ringing

2009-01-08T19:16:00.002-05:00

...Or, more correctly, Wedding Music is Blaring. It’s the dry season which also means it is wedding season. For the weekend following New Year’s Day, Karin and I took a short get-away trip to Prey Veng to hang out and relax. Karin returned on Saturday to meet her host sister, but I stayed for an evening wedding that the MCCers in Prey Veng were invited to. Apparently it’s not a problem if an extra guest comes – there is always more than enough food. So I borrowed Carol’s dress and shoes and we rode bikes to the wedding in our fancy wedding outfits and high heels (complete with lots of strange looks from those we passed). It was fun except that, of course, we were pushed toward the ring of dancers.

I returned Sunday morning to spend time with my family before heading off to another wedding in the afternoon, but this time I had my own invitation. I did not attend the morning part of the wedding which is usually filled with many traditional ceremonies. The evening is more like a reception with a large meal and dancing and music (very, very loud music). Though the invitation said it began at 4pm that was about the time we started getting ready. This time, we went all out as 4 of us went to a small shop to have our hair and make up done Khmei style. We all ended up looking more like dolls than people with our painted faces. And, I should have known it would take a long time to do my hair. Curls are a bad idea, especially if it involves an hour with a scary looking curling iron, gloves and lots of hairspray. My head doubled in size. I’m sure the pictures don’t do it justice. Besides the pulling out my scalp part, it was really fun to go out with all the girls. And the wedding was enjoyable. It was the first wedding that I have been to where I really knew everyone at the table. And we did join in the dancing, but, unlike Prey Veng, many other people were dancing so we did not feel out of place. Both evenings were enjoyable, but there is certainly a marked contrast between provincial weddings and Phnom Penh weddings of teenagers who parents have lots of money. And when I arrived home, I got ooo’s and ahh’s from Ma and Ata and shy stolen glances from the random family members who were sleeping at our house that night. And Ata took pictures of me because she couldn’t let me go without a picture of me only. And she said that for Cambodia, I looked really nice, and I trust her opinion as it relates to Cambodian hair/makeup styles which are always more excessive than American standards.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It...Rain?!

2008-12-26T03:34:00.006-05:00

I discovered that Christmas in Cambodia can be just as busy as the holidays in the States. Planning a drama, preparing a lesson and making batches and batches of cookies and desserts has taken up quite a chunk of time. However, since I enjoy doing all those things (okay, maybe I don’t enjoy preparing lessons), but it was nice to spend my time in something fun and productive. Christmas Eve was spent at a friend’s house. Ten of us prepared food and ate together. Then we progressed to another friend’s house for desserts and a late night movie – It’s A Wonderful Life. It even rained on Christmas Eve, a strange event since the rainy season ended nearly a month ago and will not start again for another several months. It certainly is not even close to being cold enough for snow, but we did get some Christmas precipitation.

By 11pm the movie was finished and we had all about conked out. Going to bed at 10pm is late, 11pm is unheard of! We fit 3 is a bed (kinda like 5 on a couch, but this isn’t a game!) and woke up for a tasty breakfast of foods that are really expensive here. I didn’t get out of bed until 7am! Though I was awake much earlier, it was so nice to sleep it! We ate fruit salad, eggs and bacon and French toast – things I haven’t had since coming here! It sure beats rice or noodles for breakfast! The only glitch was that the stove ran out of gas half way through the cooking. Lucky for us Christmas isn’t a holiday here so the gas guys were still working and were able to quickly bring another tank over so we could get on with our morning goodies. We had a small gift exchange and then went our separate ways. It almost felt like Christmas until we stepped out of the house into the real world. But I did bake cookies for my class so I had a fun time teaching them as we ate cookies and read about some Christmas traditions.

I also got a few presents from students as well as 2 Christmas text messages. Here they are for your reading pleasure – unedited. I think my name and the word “merry” got pretty beat up in the writings! Though, in all fairness, they are mainly words they have heard but never seen written.

Student hands me the present on the right complete with Snoopy and roses and bears and ‘Love you’, “Teacher, I give you for Merry Christmas.”
On the card inside, it read, “To Crista. Oh your name similar Christmas. Merry Christmas! I wish you good health, success, longevity, happiness, and pretty. I hope you like it and when you miss me you can look it.”

Another card from a student who gave me a present, “Happy Mary Christmas! May everything good come to you and be successful in you work Moreover good health. May new year bring you to bright life and make you the enjoyable person. Especially wish your dream come true!!! Christar”

Test message: “Hi! Happy marry Christmas! I wish u meet good luck, good health and successful of all working.”

Text message: “Hi!! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2009 I wish the god gets u n family a success, healthy, wealthy, happiness, Lucks…n may god bring u a real full love.especially wish u get more n more beautiful.Be enjoy your day.”

And, sisters, thanks for the shirt! It arrived just in time for Christmas so here is me getting my present from under the tree, opening it, and trying the shirt on with my cool, shiny, comfortable, Christmasy pants from Vietnam.

How to (Not) Bake a Cheesecake – Cambodian Style

2008-12-12T04:58:00.004-05:00

In honor of a small-known family tradition among some of the MCCers (Daniel and Amanda), Wednesday, 10 December was celebrated as unofficial International Cake Day in conjunction with Amanda’s birthday and International Human Rights Day. To celebrate, several people made cakes and we ate that for dinner (plus some bits of fruit). I decided to make cheesecake – as it is probably my favorite “cake” and something I have not had since coming to Cambodia. So, if you ever want to make a cheesecake in Cambodia, here is how you do it:

Find recipe on internet (the one with sweetened condensed milk is best because that is used in coffee, tea, on top of desserts, shaved ice and anything else you can think of)
Go to market to buy sweetened condensed milk and eggs – Walk around aimlessly for a bit because the normal egg lady moved
Go to fancy shopping store, search for graham crackers. Fail. Buy coconut cookies instead. Search for cream cheese. Find only a 1 kg block for $12. Decide to look elsewhere.
Search another fancy shopping center for cream cheese. Ask store attendees. “Cream Cheese?” “Green tea?” “No, cream cheese.” “Kimchi?” “No, cream cheese.” Eww, a kimchi (pickled peppered cabbage) cake would be terrible!
Call Carrie, “How do you get to Pencil, the store that sells Western food? Up Monivong. Okay.”
Drive moto up Monivong. “Karin, do you see it yet? Karin, do you think we went too far? Okay, let’s stop.” Take out map, notice you are far, far, far beyond your normal sphere of the city.
Call Amy. No answer. Call Susie. “I don’t know; I haven’t been there since the ‘90s.” Call Charles. “Norodom, not Monivong.” Take out map again, find Norodom. Go back toward Norodom.
Pass Bayon, another Western fancy market. Park. Run in. Find strangely packaged white blocks labeled cream cheese. Buy them (still ridiculously expensive).
Get back on moto. Drive. Don’t hit people. Don’t hit bikes. Don’t hit other motos. Don’t hit cars traveling dangerously close.
Continue driving toward market. Have Karin shout that we just passed our road. Turn, guess in general direction. Magically find market.
Buy mangos that don't look quite ripe. Buy yummy fruit shakes because you can.
Drive back to MCC and begin baking process nearly an hour later than anticipated.
Put now-softened cream cheese in bowl. Find mixer. Rejoice at such a hidden treasure.
Put in bowl.
Plug in.
Watch helplessly as mixer jumps out of bowl and spirals around on the floor spraying cream cheese in every direction. Glare at Karin who has collapsed on the floor in laughter and has tears running down her cheeks.
Unplug mixer.
Take a deep breath from laughing so hard. Try not to pee pants.
Turn mixer off. Put back in bowl.
Double check mixer is off this time. Plug in (again).
Step over piles of cream cheese on the floor to get knife.
Scrape cream cheese off floor, counter, wall, self. Salvage the good stuff, throw out the bad stuff.
Mix cream cheese as few more bits fly out. Watch Karin wipe tears from eyes. Still try not to pee pants.
Add sweetened condensed milk (the important ingredient) and other things. Mix and pour into crust creatively made to resemble graham cracker crust.
Put in large toaster oven. Guess at a temperature in Celsius and set timer. Should bake for 50-60 minutes.
Return in 20 minutes. Gasp. Take brown-topped cheesecake out of toaster oven. Look at it as mouth waters.
Make mango topping. Add lots of sugar to make the sour mango taste ripe.
Wrap cheesecake in towel. Carefully carry downstairs. Hand to Karin.
Climb on moto. Let Karin on. Drive to Daniel and Amanda’s. Miss turn. Turn around. Be Khmei by going wrong way on road. Turn on right road. Ask Karin again for directions. Enter dirt road. Bump. Bump. Bumpety-bump-bump – “Whaa!” “Karin?” “Still here.” Bumpety-bump-bump-bump.
Finally arrive. Set cake on table with other yummy looking cakes.
Daniel, “So who’s the mastermind behind the cheesecake?”
Karin, “Christa.”
“Mastermind or master destroyer?” Laugh at secret knowledge of my cream cheese/mixer destroying skills.
Eat cake. Compliment all yummy creations. Crack up when people like the cheesecake. Tell story. Watch Karin cry again. Don’t pee pants.
Eat more cake. Smile a happy smile.

For more details and a hilariously funny second account check out Karin's blog at www.mcc.org/salt. Click on "Blogs" on the left and then her name "Karin Zylstra" from the list.

Pulling a Melly

2008-12-07T19:08:00.002-05:00

Rice. It's the staple food of Cambodia, actually of most of Southeast Asia. Small white grains. To make it you just add water and heat. It should not be difficult, right? Wrong. It has taken me many weeks (months even) to figure out how to make the rice with just the right amoung of water and heat, knowing when to cover it and uncover it and when to turn the heat down and let it simmer. It's all very complicated and each time I would try to make the rice, Ma would correct me. I am usually the first one home so I clean out the rice pot, add more, guess at some water, and put it on the burner. Then Ma comes home and finishes it.

Last week, Ma had friends from the provinces staying out our house because they had a workshop at work. I knew there would be extra people and she would be home late. Here was my chance at last to prepare the rice by myself! Since there were extra people, I scooped out 5 cans from the rice bin instead of the usual 3. I added water (it was nearly to the top of the pot) and put it the burner. Turned on the gas, took out the lighter and set the flame going. Soon there was a nice pot of rice going, but I wondered if there was not enough water so I added more. And then more. By then it was simmering dangerously close the the top of the pot and bits of water were splashing over. The little cousin didn't help as she was laughing at me and telling me how much rice I had. Then she told me to put the lid on (It's more delicious that way). Then another cousin came over, "Bong Christa, how many cans did you put in?" "Five." "Oh," she said with a surprised expression that I didn't need to translate, "Ma said to put four." Now, she tells me. Well, I had four, plus an extra one. So I spent a long time watching the rice to make sure it didn't decide to start spilling out of the pot. I contemplated getting another pot and transferring some, but decided that would lead to more problems. Ata came home and asked what we had to eat. I said, "Lots of rice." She wanted ice cream and fruit. Later she looked into the pot and said, "Why you make so much rice?" Then Ma and her friends came home, each laughing at the pot whose lid didn't stay on because of the overfull pot of rice. Yay (Grandmother) told me it was very nice rice, but there was indeed much of it.

The next day, I was home first again. Before I even unlocked the door, Ming (Aunt) came up to me and said there would only be 3 people for dinner so I only needed 3 cans of rice. So I put in 3 with no problems this time. However, 3 other friends showed up for dinner. But 3 cans was sufficient as Ming laughed about how she told me to make less because there would be less people but now there were 6 people. Live and learn and laugh.

PS. Yes, Melly, I did just reference you in my title.

The Gates of My House

2008-12-05T01:52:00.003-05:00

Hopefully the diagram will help you visualize a bit of what I’m talking about and can help you understand more about the entry entitled "Typical Days."

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas...

2008-12-03T05:33:00.004-05:00

Even though Thanksgiving is a purely American holiday, we had a bit of turkey cheer in Cambodia (actually more like chicken cheer). We even let the newbies from Canada join us (well, since they graciously hosted us we could celebrate with them). I had a hard time explaining to my host family what I was doing. They understood that I was going to eat with friends, but when I tried to tell them that people traditionally eat turkey, they were confused. Such birds are not common here, and I have never seen one but have heard rumors that they can occasionally be found in the supermarkets. So I told them that Americans commonly eat big chickens. When I returned home after the meal my sister asked, “Did you eat the big chicken?” I laughed and then had to tell her that we just ate regular sized chickens. Then I was describing to Ma the other foods we had, most of which I could say in Khmei though cranberry sauce was a challenge. She was amazed by the amount of food. I’m sure if she saw spreads on some table in America she would be in awe. Funny that sometimes the holiday is more about the food than about being thankful for the little things we have.

With Thanksgiving festivities over and December officially here, Christmas decorating has started. My host family set up a small fake tree in the house. My host brother made sure it was complete with brightly colored tinsel, shiny bulbs and flashing multi-colored lights. Though Christmas has no religious significance to people here and many do not celebrate, the use of eye-shattering colors and decorations suits the culture quite well. That evening we all went out for dinner together because none of us wanted to cook. It was fun to spend an evening with the family though Ata and I were unsuccessful in convincing our parents and host siblings that it would be good to go to Swenson’s to eat ice cream after the meal. We also spent an evening decorating the MCC office for Christmas. Now we just need to find some Christmas music and I’ll be happy. I think Christmas carols are one of my favorite parts of the holidays. But there are concerts coming up so I’m sure we’ll have something to celebrate. I hope everyone at home is doing well. I miss you all and hope that you are finding times for peace in the midst of the holiday craziness (which I don’t miss at all!).

Wedding Tents and Funeral Music

2008-11-28T05:36:00.003-05:00

Weddings and funerals are big events here celebrated by many people and lasting several days. The (wedding) celebration is usually only a day, but the set-up process takes longer. And for funerals, the rituals performed for the soul of the dead take several days, culminating in a mournful procession to the wat for cremation.

This morning, as we were in the midst of language lessons, we heard funeral music nearby. This was confusing because there is wedding taking place right outside the office. Very confusing to hear both types of music competing with one another, whining through the small streets of Phnom Penh.

Needless to say, the wedding in front of the office has caused a stir among the staff. Not only does it bring loud music and announcers blaring over the speakers, but the tent that is always set up effectively blocks the entrance to the office. Sunday night, it was just a few poles so the MCC truck could be navigated around it. Monday, it was poles and ribbons so motos could drive through the passages without bumping anything. Tuesday, the event was in full swing as the tables were set up with their blinding gold covers and the partitions had been put around the tent, blocking easy entrance. I walked through the tent to get to the office. But by the time we were ready to drive to RUA, there was no possible way through the crowds of people. We kept the guard busy this morning assisting many of the MCCers in maneuvering motos through small spaces. And then we had to negotiate the cars parked in the street. Earlier, Karin and I had wondered if neighbors received warnings when there was to be a wedding or funeral tent set up along a street. Now I know that the only warning comes 2 days before when the tent poles suddenly appear in front of your office or house. Well, it’s a chance for the whole neighborhood to join the celebration!

The picture is the front gate of our office with the tent blocking the street. The red/white striped top is common. Pink and yellow flowing fabric indicates a wedding and white with some black indicates a funeral. Inside, the chairs and tables are covered with blinding gold fabric! Stay here long enough and you actually think it looks really nice!

Another Student-ism

2008-11-28T05:35:00.000-05:00

“The food to [create] a balance diets are all food that we eat everyday and we must eat all those substance for our body. Those foods are rice, fish, eggs, grean vegetable, meat, fruit beverage cereal, milk, desert, butter, contain cream, chocolate…”

Yes! I love students who think that desserts and chocolate are essential parts of a healthy diet. This is why I enjoy Cambodia :)

Typical Days

2008-11-22T00:21:00.006-05:00

Tuesday/Thursday – Long Days, Wonderful Students

6:15am Wake up, dump cold water on head, shiver, sweat in 2 minutes
7:00am Leave for MCC
8:00am Language lessons – Christa didn’t study, not good! At least we finally got past the point of trying to find us Khmei boyfriends (maybe).
9:15am Karin and I leave for RUA
A: Should I drive?
B: No, you should, I drove yesterday.
A: Okay, which moto?
B: I like 1.
A: We only have keys for 2 and 4.
B: Is 2 the stupid one?
A: I think so.
B: No, maybe it’s 4.
A: Well, 2’s closer and easier to back out of the skinny passage way.
B: Okay 2.
A: Okay, drive out gate down bump. Go. Straight. Good. Turn right. Goo—Ah truck! Great. Go up steep hill with cars and trucks and motos from all directions. Stop on hill. Breathe. Downshift. Breathe. Go slowly. Breathe. Don’t hit that... Phew. Or, truck! Phew. Okay, Relax tension in arms (slightly). Did it rain last night?
B: Yes.
A: A lot?
B: No.
A: Okay, we’ll try the short cut and hope it isn’t flooded.
Long time later
A: I hope the guard opens the gate for us. I don’t like going around the pole. Quick, there’s a car follow it through. The one time I had to go around the pole, I slowly walked the moto and then hit the gas to go but almost hit the other pole. Then I was laughing so hard at myself it was hard to go. I think it was after that the guard started opening the gate for me.
Parking: Don’t hit motos, people or trees. Put helmets on bike so that rain doesn’t get in. Let’s go.
9:45am Hang out in office. Try to look teacherly. Watch out for snake. Listen to students cheer when power goes off. Sweat if power does not come back on. If power does come back on, sweat anyway.
12:00pm Eat lunch. Since we eat at the same place and they have the same food every day, try to find some variety. Pass students on the way. Try to guess names. Fail miserably or cheer at small victories.
1:00pm Teach first class. Watch out for snakes, scorpions, mosquitos, other random flying bugs. Note that if the power goes off, the CD player does not work so you must read the long listening section. Students don’t understand. Read again. And again.
2:40pm Finish class. Let class out. Be attacked by next class. Run back to office. Collect stuff for next class. Run back.
3:00pm Teach next class with students who always tell me how nice I look. If I have to stay late, I’m glad it’s with them.
4:45pm Drive back to MCC. Avoided heavily trafficked intersections (i.e. Those that take over 5 minutes to go 10 meters).
6:00pm Find moto friend and go home.
7:00pm Join family to make food. "Ma, what is this?" "And this?" "And this?" "What do I do with this?" "And this?"
7:30pm Eat "How do I eat this?"
8:00pm Wash dishes outside (sometimes inside). It confuses me when we eat on the table instead of the floor and when we wash dishes inside instead of outside. I think they do it just to confuse me. (Okay, not really, but it does keep me guessing).
8:15pm Talk with Ata while watching Disney Channel or random Khmei shows
9:00pm (or whenever Ata and I finish talking) Go to bed

Monday/Wednesday
5:15am Wake up and get ready to run
5:30am Attempt to begin to open house

Put on socks
Unlock door after discovering which of the two keys is for the door.
Shush dog or bat on nose or both. (Actually, update, since this dog was stolen, step 3 is not longer necessary.)
Of a dozen keys, find first padlock key. Turn key, put lock back on gate. Open gate.
Shove biting dog away (no longer necessary since stolen) but licking dog still has to be moved back. Luckily step 1 prevents wet feet.
Find second gate padlock key #1. Note: If family decides to switch padlocks, keys will be different. If family decides to switch keys, it could also take more time. Open lock.
Reach for second gate padlock key #2. Smile because this one looks different from all the others. Open lock, hang beside gate.
Return keys to house. Put on shoes. Go outside. Say goodbye to licking dog. (If biting dog was still around, it would be necessary to run out the gate before he could).
Hop on moto that has already started and swung around to the front of the house 5 minutes ago when he first heard the door lock click open.

5:40am Go the stadium and run.
6:30am Go home. Shower. Go to MCC.
7:00am - 9:00pm Pretty similar to Tuesday/Thursday expect classes are at 10am and 1pm

Learning From Students

2008-11-21T06:03:00.003-05:00

I have many feelings when I interact with students.

Confusion
Student: On the second day my friends and I went to visited at Tameo mountian. We are eated a lot of something.
Yes, yes, I feel that way a lot. Often I "eated a lot of something." I usually have no idea what I am eating.

Humor
Student: On my holiday I’m stay at home because I have a lot of work with my study. My English teacher gave Assignment for me on my holiday. So I must do this homework.
And sometimes my students make me laugh.

Confidence
I had played a recording and asked the students to write what they heard. I had no volunteers so picked I student I knew would do well. He looked at me and then refused several times before finally wailing "Oh, Christa!" in one of the most pitiful moans I have ever heard. Kami, he was almost as good as you! I tried really hard to keep from laughing at such a childish cry. But he did it and had it correct expect for writing "my family" instead of "a family." Not bad for listening to a second language.

Humility
Humbling experiences are when students remind you of the lesson you just taught two days ago. (Teacher, with the negative you must use the infinitive). Oops.

Province Hopping

2008-11-13T21:40:00.011-05:00

This week marks the celebration of Independence Day and Bon Om Tuk (Water Festival) and means that for most people, the whole week becomes a holiday. For me, it marked a flurry of activity and many new experiences.

Friday, 7 November, I joined my host family for my Ma's cousin's wedding in Takeo province. We fit 9 people in a car made for 5 and drove early in the morning to the celebration that had already started. Weddings used to last 7 days, but now they are commonly only day long events involving changing clothes multiple times and viewing many cultural ceremonies. The picture is one of the many ceremonies. The bride and groom in their gold outfits are seated on the right side.

The other picture is of members of my host family at our table. Wedding tents are colorful enclosures set up on the side of the road or the edge of a market as this one was. Everything is very colorful, including the clothing and makeup. Those invited to the evening meal get dressed up in their finest sparkly shirts and traditional Khmei skirts. Hair and makeup are done up as if each guest was a member of the wedding party. It is a sight to see - and I thought everything looked very beautiful. On the left is my host brother, Pisit, a cousin, an aunt (ming), another ming, brother Pisey and wife Elek, another ming, and sister, Ata.

On the way home from the wedding, I discovered that Karin was suddenly free and had booked tickets for the next day to Koh Kong province. We were going to go at the end of the holiday, but the beginning worked better. So, I went home, packed quickly, and woke early the next morning to join Amy and Karin on a bus headed west. We arrived in a small peaceful town and spent the evening exploring the market and the riverfront (which strangely reminds me of Harrisburg). We settled into a comfortable hotel (it even had a bathtub and hot water - such luxury!) and the next day decided to find motodupes to take us to see two of the nearby waterfalls. I was glad we had decided not to drive ourselves as we went down wide dirt paths laced with large rocks and crossed several streams such as the one pictured below. The other picture is Amy, Karin and I at the waterfall. The moto drivers then took us to a beach just kilometers away from the Thai border. I think the body of water is the Gulf of Thailand. It reminds me of the bay. And then we saw lots of moutains and trees. I didn't realize that I missed such simple parts of the landscape until I didn't have them any more. Phnom Penh has lots of buildings and Prey Veng has lots of rice fields so a change of scenery was very welcome. We spent some time reading and playing games and just relaxing together.

On Monday, 10 November I returned from Koh Kong and left on Tuesday for Kirirom National Park. Ata had invited me to go camping with a group from church. So 24 of us piled into 2 vehicles and set off, back the same road I had just come the day before. We set up the tents and tarps and the first team to cook began preparing food. We had a fire pit and a small gas burner for the food. In typical Khmei fashion, the group is preparing rice and thin slices of meat fried with a vegetable. I wonder if I will remember how to make food when I return with out using the metal pan and spatula that is common here. Luckily it did not rain any of the time we were camping. We used the woods as a toilet and the water pictured below as our bathing/washing dishes area (yeah, don't think about it too much). There was always a fire and someone was usually strumming a guitar. We played SPOONS (or leaves or sticks) and took walks. I learned how to play some new games (though the one card game has an infinite number of rules I don't think I'll ever remember). For being around so many people I did not know, it was strangely relaxing. And cold. I actually felt cold. The higher elevation and wind and shade of the trees made the air cooler. It is nowhere near the temperature of November in Pennsylvania, but it was an odd but wonderful feeling here. I am very grateful to everyone who let me tag along. The trees and gently rolling hills could easily have been a scene from home. And it made me wonder why I never did more camping. Maybe I'll try to do that more often in the future.

Map of Cambodian Provinces

2008-11-13T21:38:00.002-05:00

In the Kitchen

2008-11-13T21:04:00.000-05:00

Laughter. That’s what I remember. The smell of bay leaves as the glass lid glistened with steam. Warm bread with decorative green herbs. Blue aprons. The apartment full of friends and food. Sighs. Tears. Confusions. Frustrations. I remember those too. Hurts shared in the kitchen. Cups of tea to soothe pained hearts. Headaches and heartaches. A flood of angry words and a face so full of compassion and understanding that words were no longer necessary. The oven tilted, the sink dripped, the floor was a patchwork of tiles and duct tape, and there was never enough space, but the imperfections could not mar a wonderful friendship. That’s what I miss about you. In the kitchen where we fed each others’ hearts. Do you remember?

Noise. That’s what I remember. The whirr of beaters. A shower of flour. A work of modern kitchen art – twisted metal and a rubber spatula. A family in which you became my sister. The one who shared with me wisdom gleaned from your own sisters. I learned much from you. Patience. Perseverance. Unconditional love. Fun. Cake batter that reminded me of your own smiling face. That’s what I miss about you. In the kitchen where we shared ingredients for life. Do you remember?

Rice. That’s what I remember. And cheese. Lots and lots of cheese. Beauty with a smile, a spoon stuck in your mouth as you leaned over your computer (or off the edge of the couch). Your spoken thoughts confused and intrigued me. You challenged theological ideas I thought I had finally figured out. Little did I know some things always remain a mystery. And now you have your own kitchen. And I miss you. In the kitchen where we hungered for knowledge. Do you remember?

Tea. That’s what I remember. Lots and lots of tea. The colors of the rainbow and the varieties of the world represented by your collection. A comfort. A friend. A cup extended. Hospitality. A searching heart and an aching soul. You opened my eyes to pain and true compassion. A good friend very much loved. Yes, dear, still loved always and forever. I miss you too. May God continue to mold you with the same tender loving care you show to others. In the kitchen where we became friends. Do you remember?

Comfort. That’s what I remember. From the time I was young you cared for me. You fed me. You taught me. You let me share your kitchen. Passing on recipes from generations and letting me experiment on my own. Sharing wisdom. And letting me go and learn for myself. You listened as I poured out my thoughts on life, friends, family, school, work, money. You sat at the kitchen table as I talked, pouring out fears and dreams. You listened when I cried and when I laughed. And you always knew just what to say. That’s why I miss you. In the kitchen where I grew up. I know you remember.

Keepers of wisdom of generations. Sources of comfort and hospitality. Givers of life. I am grateful to all the women who shared your kitchen with me. It is a familiar place no matter where one lives. A small gas stove in a wooden house, a cooking pot just inside the gate, a tiny oven surrounded by friends, or a kitchen that I call my own, each one holds wonderful memories of tears, laughter, and relationship.

A Quick Excursion

2008-11-02T06:19:00.008-05:00

Because of the feelings of culture shock, Karin and I both needed to get out of the city. The quickest and easiest way was to visit the MCCers working in the countryside in Prey Veng province. So we were had wonderful hosts and spent our time watching movies (except someone only had 1\2 a movie so it stopped in the middle), reading books, bike riding through the town and through mud puddles (aka dirt roads), basically just relaxing in a way that we could not do with our host families. And for both of us who come from rural settings, seeing grass and trees instead of wood, dirt, stones, and concrete was so welcome. So, enjoy the snapshots of our time in Prey Veng.
On the left, the road through the rice fields (notice the tracks to avoid the holes). A house along the side of the road, flooded canal where people use the water for bathing, washing, and harvesting the green plants. Rice fields are in the background.

Scott being real mature and trying to blow coconut at me except it got stuck. (Okay, so I started it but only at his instigation).

The room is the one that my host allowed me to use. It is pretty typical of a room in a wooden house--blue shutters, simple bed with foam mattress, a mosquito net (to be put down when I sleep). The shirt is one I use to keep the sun and dirt off my arms (a practice learned from the Khmei people). And the cat on the pillow is an extra. It's good I'm not superstitious or the black cat on my bed on Halloween would have had me worried!

The picture below is the wat (Buddhist pagoda) by the MCC Prey Veng office.

The Shock

2008-11-02T06:00:00.004-05:00

It's bound to happen to anyone who lives in another culture for an extended period of time. It's called culture shock and it usually comes with a nice little graph about how the first 2-3 months a person thinks the culture is great. This is the honeymoon phase and is the high point of cultural adjustment. 3-6 months are the low point where people go through varying degrees of disappointment and resentment about the culture. After 6 months, the person's view becomes more balanced as they begin to see the good and bad parts of the culture. Well, I have been here 2 1/2 months and not a day goes by where I don't learn something new. But that also means that I have begun to see the culture in a new light. It is occuring in a strange way. I think basically I am just finally missing things and people from home. I would still say that I am very happy here and am enjoying the people (though the heat drains all energy!) The food is good and I am surprised to note that I am still not tired of rice for nearly every meal. I am caught between two places and I think that this middle phase of culture adjustment is an exercise in balance. It is balancing the people at home that I love with the differences in Cambodia that I have come to appreciate and the new people I have connected with. All that to say that, yes, the reality of being away from home is starting to hit so extra prayers or notes would be welcome. But also know that God is faithful and I have found good things in the midst of life here. In fact, I have been pleasantly surprised by God's goodness. There is not one particular thing that makes me miss home, but it is the small details. Yet, it is also the ordinary details of life here that I like.

1) On one hand, I get easily frustrated with the constant stares and attentions of moto drivers who want to be the one to take the foreigner. When I go to the market, I refuse maybe 10-20 drivers who clearly see me refusing rides from others. Yet, I also have a favorite moto driver who knows my house. One day, I did not see him and kept walking to find another driver. Suddenly, he appeared behind me. We smiled at each other for no words were necessary as I got on the moto and he took me home. It is amazing how wonderful a friendly smile can be.

2) Also, my speaking abilities are still very limited and I always wish I knew how to say more or could remember words that I once knew. But, within the course of the past week, I have had 3 total strangers tell me that I speak Khmei very clearly. Coming from native speakers, such praise was encouraging.

3) After spending so much time with students and sometimes becoming frustrated with our inabilities to communicate, it is nice to have a student say, "Teacher, you look very attractive today!" (Thanks, but she got no extra points for class that day)

4) And I am also missing the rigorous theological discussions that I had a college (and yes, dear friends, I miss all of you who discussed such things with me and challenged my viewpoints - Melly, Tina, Alicia, Jonathan, Tawny and others). I am encountering frustrations with the theological viewpoints here. But I also had the privilege this past weekend to share things with another MCCer as we made food together and discovered that our beliefs had been challenged in similar ways, our understanding of God expanded and our faith rebuilt again stronger than ever. It was such a simple, homey experience. Thank God for being faithful always!

New Foods

2008-10-24T02:42:00.004-04:00

After reading Kristina's blog about eating flying ant things and finding them tasty, I thought I should add some pictures of my own and explain my profile picture. I have not had ants, though fried locusts are more common here. But I have discovered that frying things covers up much. Fried frogs taste like chicken. Fried fish bones just become an extra crunch. But some things do not have to be fried to taste good. Like this delicacy - duck egg. The duck is allowed to grow for a short amount of time and then is cooked. It is eaten by opening the top, drinking out the juice and then scooping out the insides with a spoon. Or it may be dumped onto a plate and eaten. Usually some flavoring or green vegetables are added as well. My first one was an event for the whole family to watch (and take pictures). My facial expression looked very uncertain. It actually tasted really good (like chicken!), but I could not look at it as I ate it. I finished one egg in the time my host Ma ate two and she asked why I ate so slowly. Possible because its hard to eat and not look at the same time! I would certainly try it again if I have the chance. It hasn't made me want to become a vegetarian (yet).

Settling In

2008-10-22T06:18:00.004-04:00

After so many new adventures, the past week has seemed anti-climatic, though it has been one of the busiest weeks. The first year students began classes this week so the teachers in the English department are now teaching full time. I still have a class in which the students refuse to come. I have had 19 students during the last four class periods, but have had no more than 12 at a time. It is a mystery to me where they all disappear to. It also makes it difficult to have class discussions. Though it is pretty exciting to work at a university where students can disappear into thin air and suddenly reappear in a few days as if they never left. It's like magic. However, this short week has some pretty good quotes that need to be shared or just stored in an electronic memory this is better than my own.

After I looked at a picture I took of my road with a huge pile of rocks at the end and couldn't figure out why I took the picture because the sight is so common. Karin: "Does it concern you that when you see huge piles of rocks you're like, 'Oh, road.'"

After coming back from the bathroom, Dollar, another teacher, mentioned that he saw a snake in the bathroom. When asked what we should do, he replied, "I think we should leave him there. That's like his habitat."

Driving through a small lake on the road: DON'T LET OFF THE GAS! DON'T LET OFF THE GAS! (Later Amy asked, "Christa, why is your skirt all wet?")

Female student: "Teacher, will you be our friend?" Me: "Of course!" Male student: "Teacher, what are you doing this weekend?"

Karin's students: "Teacher, those aren't verbs, those are adjectives. Karin: 'Oh, right.'"

My students and Karin's students: "Teacher, what does 'messing around' mean?"
Karin's students: "Teacher, can you explain 'messing around' again?"
(In the text, the phrase was referring to wasting time, not the other meaning.)

It's Official

2008-10-14T06:26:00.003-04:00

We are English teachers! Or, we have each taught two classes so I guess that gives us some experience as teachers. We had to laugh when our students asked us what we studied in university and if we had much teaching experience. I could tell my afternoon class that yes, I did have some experience (for an hour and a half that morning), but Karin could not get away with that in her morning class. I can see challenges ahead as we try to communicate and adjust to Cambodian time schedules, but most of all, I am excited to be interacting with students. I have learned much about them so far, and I had fun playing games and laughing with my class. After my inital day, I am looking forward for all that I can learn this year.

Actually, perhaps we could say the day was anti-climatic after our morning. We got up early to go running so got the blood flowing before 6am. And then Karin became the brave moto driver on our way to the university. That really got our adrenaline running. She had never duped anyone (had a passenger) before and so I became her first victim. (If I was willing, does that make me a victim?) The initial start was terrifying as we weebled and wobbled in front of the office, my foot touching the road several times to steady both of us. My first time duping was pretty much the same. But once she got used to the extra weight, she drove like an old pro. She even made it across the notorious Steung MeanChey bridge without incident (The bridge is being rebuilt so we have to cross a over a dirt bridge with more holes than flat spots and very steep banks that are slick when wet and require much engine power to overcome). We were very happy. I drove back from the university, also without incident, but I had prior duping experience. My one mistake the first time I duped someone to church was not knowing where to turn (very important if you are driving). So, we went around the block until I recognized the intersection and as I went to turn left, the road suddenly became a patch of loose stones and the front wheel turned dangerously too far. As we tottered on the edge of balance, slowly moving forward, we finally managed to go straight again. Luckily, I had a courageous passanger who declared it was fun. Though I told her I could not repeat the fun experience for her, we were both laughing because the moto had stayed upright and we both managed to stay balanced on it even though we got funny looks from the Cambodians around us who have been driving here all their lives.

I've Never Liked Mondays So Much

2008-10-09T23:37:00.000-04:00

This is a blog I tried to post earlier in the week, but with all the wonders technology brings, it still has many faults. So, here it goes again though slightly less enthusiastic than my first attempt because the excitement has worn off a bit.

On Monday, it finally happened. I stood in front of a classroom, and there were students sitting in the desks. No, it was not a dream, a strange fantasy of my hopeful imagination. It was real. The day itself was quite special. For the first time, I dared to brave the city traffic on a moto. I had ridden bike around several other times and thought that perhaps I could manage it. Compared to Prey Veng, Phnom Penh has far less animals (and animal droppings) on the road, but the traffic of motos, cars, bikes, and pedestrians moves much faster and in no organized pattern. The moto and I bonded as I slowly moved through the traffic, following Amy driving the moto ahead of me. Once we got out of the city a bit, I was able to open ‘er up. Yes, I was flying down the road at 40 kph (I wouldn’t dare go too much faster amid oncoming cars, broken pavement, wandering pedestrians and slow moving bicycles). It was a bit frightening at first, but I slowly got used to it and made it back just fine (once I figured out how to downshift on this moto to get up the steep and bumpy dirt bridge).

At the university, a miraculous event occurred. The students arrived for their placement tests. No, not on time and certainly not all of the students and not all in the right place, but they were on campus. They had gotten the news. The elusive students that we had heard so much about do indeed exist and do come to campus. And, I was actually called ‘Teacher’. I’m not sure that I deserve that title yet since I still have not taught (a normal prerequisite for being called ‘Teacher’). However, next week I hope to be worthy of that title and by the end of the year, I’ll be an old pro. It was a day worth noting! The rest of the week was spent giving tests to students and organizing them into classes according to ability. This morning (Friday), I just learned which levels I will be teaching so I can take some time to prepare lessons for classes that should begin next week. Hurray!

Remembering Viet Nam

2008-10-07T06:15:00.004-04:00

Last week, during the Pchum Ben holiday, I went to Viet Nam with 3 other MCCers. I cannot say it was a much needed break because I have not done much that I needed to break from. However, I can give a quick overview of the trip. There are no major highlights (which I guess is good because it means nothing bad happened). The best part of the trip was all the new sights. We spent some time in Ho Chi Minh City and a few days in Dalat (a popular touristy area). Dalat was up in the mountains and was so cold that we were wearing jackets and long sleeves and slept with blankets on a night. Compared the the States, it really wasn't cold, but it's all in perspective. We also visited a waterfall in Dalat. Everywhere we went, we ate tasty food. Viet Nam has a much more Western feel and many of the people in the regions we visited spoke English. It was a strange feeling to be a step closer to Western culture and yet still very much in Asia. We also visited the Cu Chi tunnels which were used during the Viet Nam war and spent some time at the War Remembrance Museum. It was a sobering moment for all of us, and it was sad to see how the war destroyed so much of the country in so many ways. Because of the chemicals used, people will be affected for generations, not just Vietnamese, but also those who lived in the country during that time. Though the lovely landscaping and many flowers that abounded in Viet Nam cannot be found in Cambodia, natural beauty cannot hide the hurts that both countries have experienced in recent memory. I think it just made me think a bit harder about the role of servants of Christ in the world no matter the color of our skin or our country of origin.

Eating breakfast at our favorite cafe, Sozo. Check it out if you get the chance. It not only has tasty food and drinks but works to help Vietnamese find work.

Swan paddleboats in Dalat. See the mountain in the background?! It was very exciting and all the green was gorgeous.

Yes, the night market in Ho Chi Minh City has giant stuffed Nemo toys. Need I say more?

I love waterfalls! And I took way too many pictures of this one, but I was so excited to see mountains and water that is not a stagnant canal or heavy rainstorm. And the dilapidated bridge was a cool added effect.

Observations Upon Returning

2008-10-03T06:20:00.003-04:00

It's amazing how just a short amount of time away from a place can give you such a different perspective. After spending just under a week in Viet Nam (most of the time spent on a bus), I feel like I am seeing Phnom Penh with new eyes. Returning almost felt like a homecoming and yet not so. The city appeared more Western than it had originally looked to my eyes. I remembered living in a simple city with few paved roads, crowded markets, and traffic jams of motos and tuk tuks. But that is not what I saw when I come back. The tour bus returned through an area that had tall buildings selling unnecessary commercial items. The tuk tuk drivers who rushed for our attention as soon as we stepped off the bus spoke English to us (and demaned 4 times the normal price). I just felt like I was returning to a city that had changed overnight and honestly I was not impressed by it. I hope that does not bode ill for my return to the States which is very obviously Western. I had liked the small feel of Phnom Penh, the friendly chatter of Khmei voices, the drivers who are willing to take you anywhere but do not fight aggressively for your attention, the crowded markets where people get to know one another by squeezing through isles or talking while bargaining for a price instead of slapping down money and moving out of the way, the people whose ties are close to the land or to family members who still live in the provinces and work off the land.

It was good to be in Viet Nam and escape to places that felt more Western, but I still like coming back to Phnom Penh among people who are still closely tied to one another through a common ethnic and cultural hertiage, little marred by outside influnce. But that too is changing as the world gets smaller in many ways. I have a feeling Cambodia is not too far behind its neighboring country and though less litter and some landscaping would largely improve the look and feel of this place, it would also lose something of its native character in the process of building taller buildings that would offer items designed more for comfort than for survival.

So Close...And Yet So Far

2008-10-03T05:15:00.002-04:00

The last Thursday and Friday of August, Karin and I (almost) had the opportunity to step into our teacherly roles. And yet we were robbed of the satisfaction of actually doing something. Those two days had been set aside to do English placement tests for students. However, that weekend was also a holiday in which people normally leave the city to visit families in the provinces. And holidays often extend for several days beyond the official days. So it was highly unlikely that students would show up to take a placement test.

The first test was scheduled to start at 8am, and we were still setting up listening CDs and arranging classrooms knowing that on Cambodian time, students would most likely not arrived until 8:10 or so. By 8:30, there was still no noise in the hallways indicating that students were coming. Amy went on a campus search to warn the next students that their test was coming up. But alas, none were to be found.

Suddenly, wonder of wonders, we heard voices and a small group ambled up the stairs and nervously peeped into the Language Center office. However, there were only 5 or 6 students and it was not worth giving a test to only that many. I was disappointed. Then the Language Center director came in and told me that we were going to do the test because it was likely that more students would trickle in. However, 10 minutes later, it was decided not to do the test. The whole morning was like a roller coaster, deciding to give the test one minute and not give it the next.

After blocking out two days to give tests to students, Karin and I were suddenly left dangling with nothing to do. We did have the chance to make plans for the first day of classes so I feel a bit less nervous. The tests were rescheduled so hopefully students will get the message and come to the university. This time, the tests are after the holiday, not before. So, after over a month in Cambodia, we still have not had the chance to do what we came to do. Maybe someday we will be able to call ourselves teachers, but that day remains to be seen.

Learning from Others Writings

2008-10-03T05:03:00.002-04:00

Provoking Thoughts from Wendell Berry's Jayber Crow:

On Farming
“He pretty much took a stand in the old way of farming he learned as a boy…. [He] made the old farm produce as much as it could of the things he and his family needed. He had perceived, with the help of some instruction from his elders, that there were people in the world who proposed that he should work hard for his money, and that they would then take it from him easily. He did not consent to this….They were tight of pocket, you might say, but free of heart.” (312)

On Faith
“It was not a ‘conversion’ in the usual sense, as though I had been altogether out and now was altogether in…. I had changed, and the sign of it was only that my own death now seemed to me by far the least important thing in my life.

What answer can human intelligence make for God’s love for the world? What answer, for that matter, can it make to our own love for the world? If a person loved the world - really loved it and forgave its wrongs and so might have his own wrongs forgiven - what would be next?

And so how was a human to pray? I didn’t know, and yet I prayed…. Perhaps all the good that ever has come here has come because people prayed it into the world. How would a person know?... Does the world continue by chance (since it can hardly do so by justice) or by the forgiveness and mercy that some people have continued to pray for?” (252, 253)

On "Religion"
“…[F]or as I have read the Gospels over the years, the belief has grown in me that Christ did not come to found an organized religion but came instead to found and unorganized one. He seems to have come to carry religion out of the temples into the fields and sheep pastures, onto the roadsides and the banks of rivers, into the houses of sinners and publicans, into the town and the wilderness, toward membership of all that is here. Well, you can read and see what you think.” (321)

On War
"…We were, as we said again, making war in order to make peace. We were destroying little towns in order to save them. We were killing children in order that children might sleep peacefully in their beds without fear. We were raping and plundering a foreign land (and our own) for the sake of ‘love of country.’ We were carrying into the heavens this cruelty and emptiness of heart. I felt involved in an old sickness of the world. I was sick with that sickness and could see no end. We had waded halfway across a bloody mire and could not get out except by wading halfway again, either forward or back.” (294)

Oh la la!

2008-09-25T08:28:00.003-04:00

Cambodians love color and the more glitter and gold the better it is. Weddings are one event that gives people an excuse to bring out the gold and color in full force. This appreciation for the diversity in the world is evident in the clothes that people wear and the multiple outfits that the wedding party goes through in a day.

No, I have not yet attended a wedding and certainly not as a member of the wedding party, but Karin and I did finally get the chance to go to a photo shop as pretty much every other female MCCer has done here. There, we spent over two hours as our faces were made up and we were squeezed into clothes designed to fit small Cambodian women. The clothes are an example of the types of outfits that a bride might wear. Karin’s style is more typical with the sash over the shoulder.

I won’t go into all the hilarious details of being put into the clothes, shoes or jewelry though I can say that most of it did not fit me correctly though the photographer did a great job of hiding much of that. It was really funny though to watch Karin’s normally pale face turn to a dull orange color and then bright peach. It was better to go with someone because I could not watch the whole process as it was done to me. However, the super bright flash they use is designed to make everyone look 5 times whiter and you can’t tell that our faces are unnaturally dark. It did take us almost a whole day to get the foundation off our faces and even 3 days later I’m still picking black chunks of mascara off my eyes.

The trip to the photo shop not only initiated us among the (many) single women of MCC Cambodia and gave us a lot to laugh about, but it also led to interesting conversations. As we were having our faces done, we spoke with the woman and were asked the inevitable questions about our work, our age, and our marital status. The entire conversation was in Khmei so it was good practice, but turned into bits of laugher when we finally realized that she was trying to set one of us up with her younger brother who is currently single. She also told us that she would like to marry a foreign man and of course it would be wonderful if her brother could marry a foreign woman. Poor Karin was the main target.

But the fun did not stop there. The pictures I took home the next day proved to be a good topic of conversation for my whole family. It started by having one of the aunts tell me that I looked very nice that day. In fact, her young son had told her that I looked nice that day so she had to come over and see and agree and tell me that. I then told her and my Ma that I had pictures that were beautiful. I got them out and they ooo’d and ahhh’d over them and then as my host sister came home I showed them to her, and then a steady stream of cousins and another aunt came over and the pictures were passed around. And then a grandmother came over and I was asked to break out the pictures again until they had all seen them and then they got them out themselves and looked at them again.

Ming (the title here for aunts or older women) told me that the pictures were very pretty. And then she and Ma told me that when I first came, I was not very pretty, but now I am pretty. I just laughed at them. I was mildly surprised they would say such a thing and thoroughly amused because I don’t really look any different. I laughed and told Ming that I had always been beautiful, and she just laughed with me. She asked me why I looked the way I did and Ma answered for me by saying that God made me that way, and we all laughed again. I think that Cambodians just want to comment on someone’s appearance and naturally the climate here would make anyone beautiful so I had to be more beautiful now than when I came.

I have also been told by someone else that I am more beautiful now than when I came, which was translated for my by another expat as “You are fatter now and therefore more beautiful.” However, just today the same girl told me that in my passport photo I am fat, but I am not fat now, so I wonder if that means that in the past two weeks since she first told me I was pretty that I have become less beautiful. It just makes me laugh because I have not really changed in any way (except for more odd tan lines on my arms and feet), but in the eyes of Cambodians, I apparently change from week to week. When I understand more about this country, perhaps I will have more clarity. For now, I’m just waiting in anticipation for what they will tell me next, and I love the openness they have with one another (in some things). And the pictures were certainly fun in an odd sort of way.

Out of the City - Part 2

2008-09-25T06:44:00.005-04:00

After the visits to various partners, we eventually had a day at the office to relax. Well, maybe not relax entirely as part of the afternoon included a long-anticipated lesson on driving moto. The moto seemed very small when I was actually sitting in the front (it had never appeared to be so small from the back). After Karin’s impressively smooth ride down the road, I must admit I was a bit apprehensive. Though my ride was not exactly smooth or straight, I did not hit anything, managed to maneuver between a cow and a dog in the middle of the road, and took corners without falling over. After not having driven anything in over a month, it was awhile before I could remember what it felt like to be at the wheel again (or at the handlebars, as the case may be). After that, I really enjoyed riding the moto around. It is so much easier in Prey Veng where there is less traffic and fewer pedestrians though many more animals. It was almost like recalling long-forgotten freedom as I was able to simply go without having to find someone else to drive me. I explored a bit of the town in that manner and really don’t know where I ended up at some points, but always found my way back. I even had practice doping Carol for a short distance because the moto needed gas and I didn’t know how to do it or where to go. We both survived though I decidedly need more practice. And I don’t know if “doping” is actually a word, but it’s the English-ified verb used to mean “giving someone a ride on the back of the moto.”

The week in Prey Veng was simply amazing, mainly, I think because it was a change in the pace of life. Though we were busy and got to see more of Cambodia, we still had lots of leisure time. I enjoyed simply riding bike around the town. In the city it’s difficult to even walk because of the traffic. We drank fresh coconut by the waterfront (which is actually the same flooded plain that we crossed to go to the school). We visited the market without as many pleas to “Buy ‘sumsing’, madam.” And I think we were given our fill of traditional music as we passed several funeral processions and listened to the wat’s early morning music. Spending a long time alone in the town would probably be rather boring, but after the hustle and bustle of the city, it was almost like a vacation.

The picture behind the blog heading is one of the mainly flooded rice fields that we passed, now green and healthy from the rain. Below are just some random shots around the province.

Out of the City - Part 1

2008-09-22T07:00:00.006-04:00

The past week was spent in Prey Veng province, the province due east of Phnom Penh. The MCC team is currently split between these two locations. We were able to experience many new situations. We had the privilege of doing field visits in Mesang where we saw fish farms so that people could supplement their rice diet. There were chicken houses where people either ate the eggs or sold the chickens to raise money. Aleda, I took this picture of a chicken house just for you. There is very limited technology (i.e. none) and so I thought that you would be able to handle it by yourself for a weekend! :) These people had been given grants of money to use to start these small endeavors and some were doing very well.

We were even able to sit in on a village bank meeting where various people (mainly women) were repaying loans they had taken out. Most of them raised pigs and sold them. Everyone in the village was able to pay back the amount they owed. Many of these small savings-and-loan places are starting in Prey Veng province and are doing well.

We also visited a primary school. The new plan for this year is to create a scholarship for local people to be trained as teachers. In exchange, they must commit to teaching in their local village for a set amount of time. Many small schools are suffering because teachers often have to come from distant villages over difficult roads and have inadequate salaries. We traveled to the school on a small wooden boat and were all thoroughly soaked either on the way there or on the way back because of the spray from the water (not because it rained even thought it is the rainy season and that would have been expected). You can see the back of Carol's head, Karin in her raincoat that didn't help much, Charles who is soaked, and our boat driver at the motor while the other boater is bent over bailing out the boat. The "lake" we are on is actually a flooded area. The green spots in the background are actually tree tops that I'm told will suddenly appear in the dry season once all the water dries up. It was a good experience.

Feeling Like a Tourist

2008-09-12T02:43:00.006-04:00

Ironically, during the week that I learned to say "tourist" in Khmer, I became one. However, the time was well spent learning about the Cambodian people and the history of the Pol Pot regime.

Karin and I visited Toul Sleng one day. The complex which used to be a school was used as a prison (S-21) during the time of the Khmer Rouge. Numerous people were locked in solitary cells barely large enough for a person to turn around in. Others were shackled to one another and forced to lay side by side on the floor, packed tighly togeher. Several people currently on trial for their role in the Khmer Rouge were stationed at the prison.

This room is typical of some of the rooms in one of the buildings. The picture on the wall shows a body on the bed. The shackles are on the bed and some rooms still had remains of instruments of torture. Rooms similar to this were also used for prisoners who were packed onto the floor.

We also visited Choeung Ek, the Killing Fields. This is the place where prisoners from Toul Sleng were taken to be executed and thrown into mass graves. I was struck by the simplicity of the place. It could easily have been a park except for the mass grave sites that dotted the area. The stupa (monument) to the left was constructed on the site and contains skulls and clothes that were found in the graves. The picture below shows a path through the area. The wooden shelters were erected over the mass graves which simply look like depressions in the earth. There is nothing special to mark the spots where many people lost their lives. It is amazing to think that many older Cambodians lived through the genocide of their people. This bit of history impacts them all.

Lessons of the Week

2008-09-12T02:35:00.003-04:00

- Frog is tasty, though slightly salty, and the bones are completely edible

- If it rains 2 days in a row, it will take 3 days for laundry to dry

- Among the many uses for a krama, 100% cotton ones make great towels
- It is possible to get an eye exam in under 30 minutes

- It took 1 1/2 hours to finish my new glasses and that is a long time in Cambodia (see the new style to the right)

- I can understand more of the words people at the market say to me

No Water After the Rain

2008-09-08T00:01:00.002-04:00

It was about that time of the week when my supply of non-sweaty clothes was running low so I was going to do laundry in the morning before it got too hot. However, there was a special woman's meeting at church so I went with Ma instead.

We arrived home just past noon and I lugged my basket of clothes up the steep, narrow steps to the roof. I had to come back down for soap powder, but finally had a tub full of soapy water and had just thrown in my whites. (The week before I learned to do my white clothes first because even clothes that have been washed many times can still run and I almost had many pink shirts.) Suddenly, I felt a few drops. My Pa came onto the roof, and though I wanted to just continue to wash my clothes in the sprinkling rain, the look on his face warned me that it was not going to be a quick shower. So I stowed my soapy clothes in another tub and covered the tub of soapy water and took my dry, still dirty clothes inside just as it began to rain harder. And it downpoured.

So, I cleaned my bathroom instead getting thoroughly hot and sweaty until sweat dripped off my face and my shirt became a shade darker in the small enclosed space.

After the rain, I went back up to the roof and brought out my now rain-washed clothes. I put soap in the tub and turned on the water. Just as suds began to form, the water slowed to a trickle and stopped. I sadly pointed it out to one of the neighbors/cousin and he told me in Khmer, "There's no water." I knew enough to understand his sentence and I could plainly see that the barrel on the roof was empty.

Refusing to give up and still possessing a pile of soapy clothes now yellowed by the rain water, I threw what I had into the limited bit of water in the tub. The clothes sopped up all the water in the tub before I took them down to the bathroom I had just cleaned. The bathroom had water so I spent a long time there rinsing out my clothes while another one of the neighbor/cousin boys periodically checked in on me with a silly grin on his face. I gave him an annoyed look, but inside I was laughing too and wish I could've seen myself. He must think I'm here to provide entertainment because he's always laughing at me. However, it goes both ways because he was trying to fix one of the water pipes once and suddenly I heard a whoosh of water and he came inside soaked. I laughed at him and he just grinned back at me. We don't speak to each other, but we do a lot of laughing together so I like having him around.

After that long process, I had enough clothes for the week. This week I took Ma's offer to have someone else do my clothes. Ma has a friend that does all her laundry so I added my clothes to the pile. However, I'm apparently not the only one who has problems with my clothes because one of my green shirts came back with pink spots and one of my blue shirts had green spots. Maybe, eventually, I will figure out how to wash my clothes properly. I really enjoy doing it myself and my Ma seems to think that is odd, but I like having something to keep my busy (and keep myself and everyone else entertained). So far, I have always had something to wear so nothing has been that bad. It's just another one of those learning experiences here in lovely Cambodia.

Let's Start at the Very Beginning...

2008-09-04T02:51:00.002-04:00

Though my time in Cambodia is quickly approaching a month, I have not yet shared much about my time here. Therefore, I plan to use this space to share information with mass amounts of people. Be sure to check here for periodic updates, random quotes, funny stories, and other snipets of my experiences learning about Cambodia.

So, to state the obvious, I have arrived safely in Cambodia and have basically been spending my time hanging around the MCC office and walking around the market attempting to practice my new Khmer words. So far, it has been mainly like a vacation. I will not actually start teaching until October because the university does not begin until after a holiday at the end of September. Until then, Karin (the other SALTer) and I have been finding ways to keep ourselves busy.

All We Do: Study, Study, Study and Visit the Market

2008-09-04T02:35:00.001-04:00

Language learning seems slow, but some days it also feels very fast. Right now, we are only working on speaking Khmer and pronunciation. We haven't learned the alphabet yet and will not do so for awhile. It's not as hard as English because the verbs don't have multiple forms and there are not as many prepositions as English, but it’s hard to learn all the words and figure out the sentence structures and different grammatical constructions. Karin and I study for an hour and a half together each morning and then individually for an hour each afternoon.

Karin and I each had traditional Khmer skirts made and picked those up from the tailor on Monday. Yesterday, we each bought a shirt, and it is exciting to be able to speak a bit with the people in the market. We also ordered dessert, but we don't know what most of the things are so we ordered what we knew and decided that we will have to ask other people what some of the foods are around the city.

Food, Church, and Motos

2008-08-29T03:34:00.000-04:00

I'm learning how to cook some of traditional Khmer food as well as some Chinese food. (My Ma apparently thinks it is very important to distinguish between Khmer and Chinese food, though they look very similar to me). Last night, an aunt made food for us, and it was delicious, probably my favorite food here so far. Or maybe I’m just getting used to all the different food so it tasted good. But I was told it was Chinese food, not real Khmer food, but I didn't really care what it was, it was good.

I go to church with my family, and they have radio translator things so I could understand most of the service. I'm going to visit a few other churches this weekend with other MCC staff so maybe I'll end up going to a different church or going to more than one church each weekend. Christians pretty much worship freely here, and my host sister actually spends her afternoons at church hanging out with her friends.

The main form of transportation here is by motodop. You just hop on the back of the moto and go, and literally pretty much every street corner has a gathering of moto drivers who are more than happy to take you anywhere – for the right price. Right now, I certainly wouldn't want to drive in this traffic, but it's a bit difficult sometimes to tell them where I want to go or to agree on a price since we don't speak much of each other’s language, and I don't really know my way around. Karin and I decided that we will have to learn how to drive the motos ourselves sometime while we are here.